Added Up Columns Comic Strips
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43 Results for Added Up Columns
View 1 - 10 results for added up columns comic strips. Discover the best "Added Up Columns" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday January 09,
2000
Tags #added up columns, #grocery list, #marketing starategy, #pros and cons, #quantified, #unhealthy
Transcript
Ted, Dilbert, Alice and the boss are sitting in a meeting. Ted says: "I quantified our marketing strategy because you insisted." Ted holds up a sheet of paper with lists on it and says: "I listed the pros and cons on this sheet." Ted says to Dilbert: "Then I added up the columns." Ted puts the sheet of paper on the table and says: "The pros outnumber the cons, so we're going forward." Dilbert has the sheet of paper in his hands now and says to Ted: "Let's see. Your cons include...unhealthy and unprofitable. Dilbert keeps reading from the sheet of paper and says: "Your pros are...waffles, eggs, bananas and milk." Ted says to Dilbert: "Oops. That might be my grocery list." Ted gets angry and shakes his arm with the sheet of paper up and down and screams to Dilbert: "You fool! I told you quantification never works!!"
Thursday January 02,
1997
Tags #million dollars, #ten thousand, #separate business cards, #value added support
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "You need a million dollars but I only have authority to sign for up to ten thousand." The Boss says, "Break it into a hundred separate business cases." Dilbert says, "Thank you for your value-added management support." The Boss replies, "It was nothing."
Saturday June 28,
1997
Tags #added billions, #create system, #employee of the week, #hire experts, #product process, #stock value, #new internet product
Transcript
Dilbert stands across from the Boss's desk. He says, "We've identified the people who will create the system to develop a product process." Dilbert points at a newspaper and continues, "While we were doing that, our competitor created a new Internet product that added a billion dollars to their stock value." Dilbert says, "Experts attribute the company's success to their 'employee of the week' program." The Boss says, "Quick! Hire those experts!"
Wednesday July 29,
1998
Tags #momentum alighns, #value added distribution, #babble, #points, #meeting, #alice, #business
Transcript
Alice, Wally and Ted sit at a conference table. Alice and Wally blab on. Ted thinks, "I haven't talked yet, but all the good points have been taken." Ted says, "We must make sure our momentum aligns with our value-added distribution!" Alice says, "That was just babble, right?" Ted says, "All the good ones were taken."
Monday February 25,
2002
Tags #added coffee, #carpet, #coffee stain, #mans face, #miracle, #squirrel body
Transcript
Dilbert, Tina, and Wally are eating lunch. Wally says, "I found a coffee stain on my carpet that looks like a man's face." Tina replies, "It might be a miracle... Or maybe a sign of the end of time." Wally responds, "I hope not. I added coffee and gave him a squirrel body."
Thursday August 31,
1989
Tags #walls laundry
Transcript
Dilbert walks into Wally's Laundry. The person behind the counter says, "We accidentally ruined your shirts - so we added a little glue and wrapped them around a stick." Dilbert arrives at home carrying a shirt wrapped around a stick. Dogbert says, "Granted, it was good initiative, but in my view, it was not a tipping situation."
Monday October 30,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #flies, #dolphins, #killing, #aspca
Transcript
Dilbert kills a fly with a fly swatter. Dogbert asks, "Why is it okay to kill flies but not okay to kill dolphins?" Dogbert continues, "Is the poor fly any less deserving of our respect and protection?" Dilbert raises the fly swatter and says, "Hold still . . . There's a dolphin on your forehead." Dogbert says, "I've added the A.S.P.C.A. to our speed dialer."
Saturday August 25,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #cars, #car-phonebooth, #natural, #solution, #coins, #inventor
Transcript
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "It's NOT a stupid idea." Dilbert explains, "You see, people who don't own cars are missing out on the prestige of using car phones." Dilbert has turned a phone booth on its side and added wheels, a steering wheel and a drivers seat. Dilbert continues, "The car-phonebooth is a natural solution . . . Granted, it uses a lot of coins." Dogbert walks away.
Wednesday June 24,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #common sense, #school, #tuition, #leverage, #paid, #alice, #tipping
Transcript
Dogbert says to a classroom full of people at desks, "Welcome to Dogbert's School of Common Sense." Dogbert continues, "I've asked you to pay tuition in advance; that way if you're unsatisfied with the school, you'll have the added negotiation leverage of having already paid." As the students hand Dogbert money he says, "And thanks, Alice, for asking if tipping is customary."
Monday September 07,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #multimedia, #include, #video, #music, #computer, #programs, #morning, #face, #theme, #star wars, #budget, #spreadsheet, #forgot, #survived, #ugly, #science, #collide, #art
Transcript
Dilbert stands at a desk in front of a computer and video camera. Dilbert says, "It's called multimedia, Dogbert. Now I can include video and music with my computer programs." Dilbert continues, "This morning I added my face plus the theme song from 'Star Wars' to my budget spreadsheet." Dilbert continues, "I already forgot how I survived without it." Dogbert replies, "It can get pretty ugly when science and art collide."