Adds Fuel To Fire Comic Strips
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317 Results for Adds Fuel To Fire
View 1 - 10 results for adds fuel to fire comic strips. Discover the best "Adds Fuel To Fire" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday November 04,
2013
Tags #burglars & robbers, #frustration, #lab, #stealing back cables, #worse problem, #boss, #adds fuel to fire
Transcript
Dilbert: Every time I leave the lab, some jerk steals my cables and replaces them with their bad ones. Then I have to spend hours stealing back one cable at a time and testing each one. Boss: Doesn't that make you one of the cable-stealing jerks? Dilbert: You've never met a problem you couldn't worsen.
Friday September 02,
2011
Tags #anxiety, #pessimism, #approve goal, #apathy, #plan to fire, #unimportant projects
Transcript
Ted: Did you approve my goals for next year? Boss: Yeah, whatever. Ted: Gaaa! Your apathy about my goals can only mean you to fire me within the next year! Catbert: Ha ha! Now give him unimportant projects. Boss: They all seem that way to me.
Sunday September 11,
2011
Tags #employees, #unemployed, #job performance, #fire someone, #cubicle, #fired, #wake up call, #greatness, #business
Transcript
Boss: Dilbert, your job performance is terrific. Dilbert: GAAA!!! That's code for "I'm going to fire someone else and make you do two jobs." Boss: Yes, but it's still better to be you than the guy I'm going to fire. Dilbert: We don't know that! This might be the wake-up call that spurs him on to greatness while I work myself to death in this cubicle. Boss: There's no way to please some people. Ted, you're fired. Ted: YES!
Saturday November 19,
2011
Tags #employees, #ignorance (knowledge), #fire wally, #can't risk, #zeberpupin system, #only one, #program, #business
Transcript
Boss: I want to fire Wally, but I can't risk it. He says he's the only one who can program the Zeberpupin System. Catbert: Are you sure that's true? Boss: It must be. No one else has even heard of it.
Friday September 15,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #social anxiety, #fire alarm, #manners, #grins
Transcript
Dilbert walks down the hallway thinking, "Oh, crap. This is the third time today that I will walk by this same guy in the hall. I barely know him." Dilbert continues thinking, "This is so awkward. The first time, I said 'hello.' The second time we both made those closed-mouth grins and arched our eyebrows. What do I do the third time?" Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . So I pulled the fire alarm." Dogbert says, "I don't think Miss Manners is gonna back you on this one."
Saturday January 13,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #fuel, #pump, #forgot, #mechanic, #car
Transcript
Dilbert and an auto mechanic look under the hood of Dilbert's car. Dilbert says, "I think it's my fuel pump." The mechanic asks, "Your what?" Dilbert replies, "What I mean is I think it's my @*!# fuel pump." The mechanic says, "Well, why didn't you just #$@* say so?" Dilbert replies, "Sorry . . . I forgot where I was."
Saturday May 11,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #solve, #mystery, #dilbert's, #garbage man, #neckties, #present, #mysteries, #fuel, #wonder, #times, #apparently, #existential
Transcript
Dogbert sits on a trashcan and says to the garbage man, "Maybe I'll never solve the mystery of why Dilbert's neckties curl up." The garbage man says, "Sometimes, Dogbert, life presents us with mysteries to fuel our sense of wonder . . . It stimulates us to reach beyond ourselves to something greater." Dogbert asks, "This isn't one of those times, is it?" The garbage man says, "Apparently not."
Tuesday October 22,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #severance, #package, #krazy, #glued, #farm, #animals, #still, #boss, #deal, #bureaucracy, #fire, #meeting, #run, #long, #animal, #behavior, #the boss
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally, the Boss and a man sit at a conference table. Dilbert asks Wally, "Any luck trying to get fired?" Wally replies, "No . . But I'll get that severance package yet." Wally continues, "This morning I Krazy-glued farm animals to the Boss, but he STILL won't deal with all the bureaucracy to fire me." The Boss has a chicken glued to his head and a pig and a cow glued to each arm. The Boss says, "The staff meeting may run a little long today."
Friday November 12,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #instructor, #seminar, #managers, #fire
Transcript
The instructor says to Dilbert, "I don't think you're ready." The man continues, "Fire-walking requires complete confidence. Anything less could be dangerous." Dilbert says, "I'm just chilly." Dilbert's pants are rolled up and he has socks on his feet. The instructor says, "Fine . . . Do it with your socks on."
Thursday February 10,
1994
Tags #delight customers, #fire everybody, #price of products, #slogan, #stop meetings, #we waste your money
Transcript
The Boss: "We must constantly ask ourselves what we can do to delight our customers." Alice: "We could stop having these meetings, fire everybody in the room and lower the prices of our products." The Boss: "I was thinking more alone the lines of a slogan." Wally: "How about, 'we waste your money'?"