Admit Your Selfish Comic Strips

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94 Results for Admit Your Selfish

View 1 - 10 results for admit your selfish comic strips. Discover the best "Admit Your Selfish" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogcart the ceo, #salary, #400x more, #admit your selfish, #money

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "My salary is 400 times more than yours." Dogbert says, "My goal is to jack that up to 410, maybe 420." A woman says, "I hate you for this." Dogbert says, "So you admit you're selfish?"

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Selfish Team Player

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Selfish Team Player - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hypocrisy, #team, #semantics, #flaw, #personality disorder, #success, #selfish, #business

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Asok: If being selfish is necessary for success, how can I claim to be a team player? Wally: I like to use a tool called hypocrisy. Asok: That is actually a character flaw. Wally: Oh. No wonder people are so prickly about it.

Dilbert Refuses To Admit He Is Wrong

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Dilbert Refuses To Admit He Is Wrong - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wrong, #right vs. wrong, #narcissist, #refuse to admit

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Tina: People keep telling me you refuse to admit when you are wrong. Dilbert: It only looks that way because Im right most off the time and people are too dumb to know it. Tina: wow! They're right about you being a narcissist, too. Dilbert: I refuse to admit I'm wrong about this.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #civil liberties, #internet & world wide web, #internet law, #bad for business, #press relase, #impinge, #freedom of speech, #selfish liars

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Boss: Our company opposes passage of the new internet law because it would be bad for our business. But that sounds selfish, so we'll issue a press release saying the new law would impinge freedom of speech. Alice: So... we're selfish liars? Boss: You can't get more free than that!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #research, #exempt, #human, #laws, #crime, #owner, #held, #fully, #responsible, #selfish

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Dilbert stands in the kitchen making a sandwich. Dogbert says, "According to my research, dogs are exempt from human laws." Dogbert continues, "The great part is that I can commit any crime and my owner will be held fully responsible." Dogbert continues, "I'm hoping you won't take a selfish view about this."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #hardware, #store, #invisible force, #therapy, #psychiatrist, #selfish, #feelings, #talking

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Dilbert lies on a couch and explains to a therapist, ". . . Whenever I'm near a hardware store I feel an invisible force drawing me inside . . ." The psychologist says, "You've been talking about yourself since you got here. We never talk about ME and MY feelings. I hurt too, you know." Dilbert says, "I'm paying $75 an hour . . ." The psychiatrist says, "Good Lord, and you think that makes it okay to be selfish??"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #electronic, #world, #poll, #collective, #economic, #majority, #selfish, #ambitions, #democratic, #system

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Dogbert stands on a desk chair working on the computer. Dilbert says, "Now that you've united the electronic mail users of the world, what are you going to do?" Dogbert replies, "I'll poll them about their needs, then use their collective political and economic power to get them whatever the majority wants." Dilbert asks, "Couldn't you easily rig the vote to support your own selfish ambitions?" Dogbert says, "I love the democratic system."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #makeup, #real bother, #a lot of work, #admit, #remove old makeup, #bowling alley

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Woman: Ive never minded putting makeup on, but its a real bother to take it off. Dilbert: That seems like a lot of work, I must admit. But I still think its better to remove the old stiff. Woman: Its only a problem at the bowling alley.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #had a cat once, #two hours, #beef of cat, #selfish

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Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit at the lunch table. Wally says, "I had a cat once . . ." Wally continues, "I petted that thing for two hours but I didn't feel any better." Dilbert says, "Petting is for the benefit of the cat, not your hand." Wally says, "They're so selfish."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogcart consulting, #add credibility, #selfish, #idiotic opinions, #current budget, #tingle, #i feel, #credibility

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Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert wears a sorcerer's hat. He says, "The Dogbert Consulting Company will add credibility to your own selfish and idiotic opinions." Dogbert continues, "For example, your current budget should be . . . Um . . ." The Boss says, "Doubled." Dogbert says, "Doubled. It should be doubled." The Boss says, "Hey, what's that tingle I feel all over my body?!!" Dogbert replies, "Credibility. If you want another hit, it'll cost you."