Search Results for "admits guilt"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 45

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 2008's comic on:

Tags #court room, #judge, #lawyer, #ceo, #witness, #defendant, #die die die, #admits guilt, #first question, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Where were you on the day that Dilbert was pushed out of your office window?" The CEO says, "I was directly behind him, in this position, yelling 'die, die, die!'" The CEO says, "The first question is just practice, right?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #lecture, #series, #guilt, #cope, #paid

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a stage holding a microphone. Dogbert says to the audience, "Welcome to the Dogbert Lecture Series on guilt." Dogbert continues, "In the next hour, you will learn how to cope with guilt the Dogbert way." Dogbert continues, "And if you don't, well, it turns out I get paid anyway."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #guilt, #copyrighted, #simple, #stupid, #people, #crowd

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a stage holding a microphone. Dogbert says to the audience, "You can free yourself from guilt with the copyrighted Dogbert method." Dogbert continues, "My method is so simple that even stupid people can do it." Dogbert asks, "Do we have any stupid people here today?" Everyone in the audience raises their hands.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #lack, #ethics, #social, #conscience, #guilt, #module, #synthesized, #belief, #system, #spittle

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to the robot, "We need to do something about your total lack of ethics and social conscience." Dogbert continues, "I had Dilbert build this guilt module for your control board. It has the synthesized shame of every major belief system." Later, the robot says to Dilbert, "I am unworthy to roll in your spittle." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Frankly, I liked him better before."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2009's comic on:

Tags #reading, #guide, #Advice, #guilt, #annoyed

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "According to the book of Wally, I should use something called 'Preemptive guilt' to avoid work." Wally says, "Exactly. If you wait until after you get an assignment, it is already too late for guilt." Wally says, "Stress killed both of my parents. The doctors said they worked too hard."q

View more books now

Coffee Machine Uses Guilt

Thank you for voting.
Coffee Machine Uses Guilt - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2018's comic on:

Tags #Wally, #alice, #Dilbert, #coffee, #coffee maker, #automatic, #invention, #manipulation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I added artificial intelligence to our coffee maker. Now it uses guilt to manipulate people into making a fresh pot if they take the last cup. Coffee Maker: You disgust me. Wally: I get that a lot.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2011's comic on:

Tags #appeal, #bad person, #business ethics, #comparison shopping, #guilt, #molt, #prevents competitors, #raising prices

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our products only appeal to people who aren't good at comparison shopping. But I justify it because our existence prevents competitors from raising prices. Am I a bad person? Dogbert: I molt a little bit every time you talk.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #eliminating, #simple, #caused, #people, #invisible, #juan, #cindy, #kill, #them, #motivational, #speaking

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a stage holding a microphone. He says to the audience, "The Dogbert method of eliminating guilt is quite simple." Dogbert continues, "All of your problems are caused by invisible people named Juan and Cindy." Dogbert continues, "All you have to do is find them and kill them."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 1992's comic on:

Tags #robot, #discriminating, #female, #years, #compensate, #past, #injustices, #therefore, #argument, #effective

View Transcript

Transcript

A female robot says to Ruebert, "Males have been discriminating against females for a million years." Ruebert thinks, "Guilt attack." The female robot says, "Therefore, YOU must compensate ME for past injustices." Ruebert says, "You know, for a ridiculous argument, it's nonetheless quite effective." The female robot says, "Thank you."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 1993's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #coffee, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss reaches for the coffee pot and thinks, "I'm the Boss. I can take the last bit of coffee without making a new pot." The Boss yells, "Look at me!! I'm taking the last drop!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!" Dilbert says, "An actual human would feel guilt in this situation." The Boss says, "The pot needs washing."