Search Results for "advanced thinking"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 1996's comic on:


Tags #dogcart institure, #advanced thinking, #ending pverty, #televison, #wretched lives, #paid guests, #straggler cops

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a desk chair and tells Dilbert, "Here in the 'Dogbert Institute for Advanced Thinking,' I have devised a plan for ending poverty." Dogbert continues, "My plan is to wait until there are so many talk shows on television that all the people with wretched lives can be paid guests." Dilbert asks, "What about the poor people who don't want to be on talk shows?" Dogbert replies, "We'll get the stragglers on 'Cops.'"

Charging Client For Thinking

Thank you for voting.
Charging Client For Thinking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2016's comic on:


Tags #thinking, #engineers, #time, #worth, #meetings, #billing, #money, #cost

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The client says you billed them for all the time you spent thinking about their project. Dilbert: I'm an engineer. Thinking is what I do. Should I think less? Boss: Maybe you could meet with someone while you think. Dilbert: How's that working right now?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2011's comic on:


Tags #boredom, #despair, #mind numbing tesk, #stop thinking

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I can't wait to finish this mind-numbing task... so I can start another mind-numbing task. I really need to stop thinking.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2011's comic on:


Tags #celebrations, #new year's day, #happy new year, #oxytocin drug dealer, #magical thinking, #space time continuum

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Happy New Year! Dilbert: Whoa! Settle down. I don't celebrate the magical thinking that says one random point in the space-time continuum is somehow special. Woman: It's just a hug. You'll enjoy it. Dilbert: You're like some sort of Oxytocin drug dealer.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #android, #civilization, #aliens, #radish-like

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert asks, "Did you ever get to thinking that maybe you are just an android, placed on earth by an advanced civilization of huge radish-like aliens who are studying your every move?" Dilbert answers, "No." Dogbert says, "Me neither."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #thinking, #dustin hoffman, #dog, #mirror, #fur, #zipper, #rock

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits outdoors thinking, "Sometimes I feel like I'm just an actor on the cosmic stage of life." Dogbert thinks, "Maybe I'm Dustin Hoffman in a doggie costume." Dogbert thinks, "I better find a mirror and check my fur for a zipper."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #man, #rectangles, #heard, #boss, #geometry, #major, #good, #thinking, #geography, #rectangle, #states

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a conference table with several people. The man next to him whispers, "What's your presentation going to be about?" Dilbert replies in a whisper, "Rectangles. We heard the Boss was a geometry major." The man says, "Good thinking. But I heard he was a geography major, not geometry." Dilbert points to a rectangle projected onto the wall and says, "Wyoming: one of the many rectangular states."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #aliens, #abductiving, #probe, #body, #cavities, #implant, #objects, #advanced, #medical, #research, #round, #pellet, #prober, #nose

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "We can only speculate why aliens keep abducting people." Dilbert continues, "They often probe people's body cavities. Sometimes they implant small objects. It must be some form of highly advanced medical research." An alien says to another alien, "How about another round of 'Hide the Pellet?'" The other alien holds up an instrument and replies, "Okay. I can use my nose prober."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 1995's comic on:


Tags #thinking, #quitting, #contract emplyee, #Advice, #sleep in doorways, #hunk of coradboard, #co workers, #food stamps, #not edible

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice sits at her desk with her back to Wally. Wally asks, "Alice, I'm thinking about quitting and becoming a contract employee. Do you have any advice?" Alice replies, "Sleep in doorways so it doesn't rain on you. The best shopping carts are at 'Lucky.' You can make an excellent sign with black marking pen and a hunk of cardboard." Wally walks away from Alice's cubicle and says, "I hate all of my co-workers." Alice says, "Despite the name, food stamps are NOT edible."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 1995's comic on:


Tags #outside the box, #creative design, #push chair, #hallway, #view point, #stimulate, #fire hazard, #thinking, #inside box

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his cubicle thinking, "I need to think 'outside the box' to come up with a creative design . . ." Dilbert pushes his chair outside his cubicle and continues thinking, "I push my chair into the hallway to change my viewpoint and stimulate my creative juices." The Boss approaches and Dilbert thinks, "Suddenly my juice dries up." The Boss points at Dilbert and says, "You're a fire hazard. Do your thinking inside your box."