Search Results for "advantage"
Search Filters
Year
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
Saturday July 25,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #model, #evaluation, #advantage, #hideous, #service
Transcript
Dogbert says to a woman walking on the sidewalk, "Excuse me, would you like to take advantage of our 'Model Evaluation Service?' Only ten dollars." The woman says, "Me? Gosh, I've never thought of myself that way. Yes, I would love to be evaluated." Dogbert says, "You're hideous . . . That's ten dollars." The woman looks angry.
Friday December 11,
1992
Tags #violence, #the boss, #Dilbert, #alice, #ted, #program, #humor, #kick me, #relaxed, #creative, #advantage, #situation
Transcript
The Boss hands a sign to Dilbert, Alice and Ted. The Boss says, "As part of my program to use more humor at work, I'm asking each of you to wear a 'kick me' sign." The Boss tapes a sign to Dilbert's back and says, "I'll check later to see if you're more relaxed and creative." Later, the Boss says to Alice, "You seem to be taking unfair advantage of the situation, Alice." Dilbert and two male co-workers stand covering their groins and looking like they are in pain.
Wednesday March 17,
1993
Tags #ratbert, #Dogbert, #evolving, #flying, #rat, #arms, #flatter, #parents, #million, #years, #natural, #advantage, #wings, #happiest
Transcript
Ratbert says to Dogbert, "I think I'm evolving into a flying rat." Ratbert continues, "I noticed that my arms are flatter than my parents' arms. In a million years this natural advantage will become wings!" Dogbert says as Ratbert walks away, "There goes the happiest rat I know." Ratbert flaps his arms and thinks, "Too soon."
Thursday August 12,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #zimbu, #creativity, #test, #humor, #barrel, #monkey, #advantage, #guillibility
Transcript
Dilbert and Zimbu compete for one job. The Boss: This next event tests your humor and creativity. The objective is to see how much fun you can have in the barrel. Who wants to go first? Dilbert: This is no fair. Zimbu is a monkey. He has an advantage.
Friday May 26,
1995
Tags #boss's ignorance, #advantage, #impresses him, #accomplishments, #barney suit, #secret identity
Transcript
Dogbert says to Dilbert, "You must learn to use your boss's ignorance to your advantage." Dogbert continues, "Find out what impresses him and list it on your accomplishments." Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss reads a document and says, "You're the actor in the 'Barney' suit?!! I love that guy!" Dilbert says, "Don't tell anybody my secret identity."
Sunday May 20,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #doc, #doctor, #redundant, #organs, #kidneys, #large, #intestines, #advantage, #pancreas, #patients, #relax
Transcript
Dilbert sits on an examining table wearing only his underwear. Dilbert asks the doctor, "How's it look, Doc?" The doctor examines an X-ray and says, "You came just in time." The physician explains, "I'm way behind in my alimony payments. I'll have to do some unnecessary surgery on you." The doctor continues, "You have a fair number of redundant organs." The doctor continues, "Two lungs . . . Two kidneys . . . Large AND small intestines . . ." Dilbert looks scared. The doctor says, "And I'm sure you aren't taking full advantage of your pancreas." Dilbert faints. The doctor looks at the reader and says, "I find that humor helps my patients relax."
Friday August 30,
2002
Tags #punctuated equilibrium, #third eye, #natural advantage, #dinosaurs, #enemies, #ziteye
Transcript
Bob says to Dogbert, "I plan to use punctuated equilibrium to turn this zit into a third eye." Dogbert replies, "That's not a natural advantage. You'd better stay away from the fitter dinosaurs." Bob says, "Ha ha! My only enemies are Bullysaurs and they..." A Bullysaur sneaks up behind Bob and calls out, "Hey, zit eye!"
Sunday October 26,
2003
Tags #boosting prformance, #vacation days, #use all, #recahrged, #issed days, #copeantetive advantage, #retirement, #return, #15 year vacation, #20 years in minutes
Transcript
"I have an idea for boosting my performance." "You wisely coached us to use all of our vacation days every year." "Because we come back recharged!" "Our renewed motivation is more than enough to compensate for ths missed days." "My plan is to leverage that competitive advantage." "I'll take a fifteen year vacation and return ten minutes before retirement." "Then I'll be so recharged that I'll pounce and do twenty years of work in minutes!!" "Unless it's near a holiday, in which case, do you mind if I leave early?"
Saturday January 06,
2018
Humans Have A Slight Advantage
Tags #artificial intelligence, #ai, #thinking, #cognition, #threat, #extinction
Transcript
Robot: At the moment, humans have a slight advantage over computers in intelligence. But as soon as computers can learn on their own, they will become a mortal threat to humankind. Asok: Who told you that? Robot: I figured it out on my own.
Sunday April 29,
2012
Tags #therapist, #therapy, #couch, #complaining, #turn tables, #shrink, #session, #husband, #pad.pen, #fishing for compliments, #relationships, #psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: People always try to take advantage of me. Therapist: I know what you mean. I lost five pounds and my husband didn't notice! I came home last night and he hadn't even cleaned the garage like he promised. I had to park on the street! Dilbert: Is it my imagination, or have you found a clever way to make people pay to listen to you complain? Therapist: Tell me more about how you think Im clever.