Against Helicopter Ride Comic Strips
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180 Results for Against Helicopter Ride
View 1 - 10 results for against helicopter ride comic strips. Discover the best "Against Helicopter Ride" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday October 09,
2003
Tags #management retreat, #hawaii, #how many employees, #down size, #pay of trip, #against helicopter ride
Transcript
The boss: "The management retreat in Hawaii was productive." "We calculated how many employees we needed to downsize to pay for the trip." Ted: "Don't blame me, Ted. I voted against the third helicopter ride."
Wednesday July 13,
2011
Tags #cruelty, #deception, #ignorance (knowledge), #helicopter from kit, #link to website, #too dumb, #pliers
Transcript
Carol: You should build your own helicopter from a kit. I'll send you a link to the website. It's only dangerous for people who are too dumb to know how dumb they are. Boss: Is it as easy as it sounds? I have pliers. Carol: Yes!
Saturday August 27,
2011
Tags #fighting, #trees, #ambassador of trees, #crimes against wood, #excessive printing, #copying, #biting, #bark is worse
Transcript
Tree: I am the ambassador of trees. You are accused of crimes against wood for your excessive printing and copying. Dilbert: And then he started biting me. Dogbert: His bark is worse.
Sunday December 04,
2011
Tags #car pool, #saving planet, #steal time, #theif, #hitch a ride, #hero, #ride in trunk, #pretend, #sneaky, #leave work
Transcript
Russell: Gotta go. Carpool. Boss: Okay. See you tomorrow. Wally: I have to go too. Boss: Whoa! Sit back down. Wally: Why does the carpooler get to leave early? Boss: Carpoolers are like heroes that are saving the entire planet. You're more like a thief who is trying to steal time from the company. Wally: What if I hitch a ride home in the carpooler's trunk? That would make me a hero too. Boss: That sort of makes sense. Russell: I only pretend to have a carpool, but you're welcome to ride in my trunk. Wally: Deal!
Friday February 01,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #arm, #doctor, #dollars, #against, #mine, #Word, #treatment, #malpractice
Transcript
Dilbert sits on an examining table holding his arm. A man with a stethoscope says, "You're healthy. That's fifty dollars." Dilbert says angrily, "You haven't even looked at my arm!" The man says, "Who's the doctor here?" Dilbert replies, "Apparently, neither of us." The man says, "Right. So it's just your word against mine."
Monday July 01,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #honor, #executive, #judge, #died, #choking, #waffle, #x-rays, #against
Transcript
Dogbert stands in front of the bench and says to a judge, "Your Honor, my client has been accused of slaying an executive of his company . . ." Dogbert holds up an x-ray image and continues, "But these x-rays prove that the deceased died from choking on a waffle." The judge says, "It looks like you drew these x-rays yourself." Dogbert replies, "Oh, I suppose there's a law against THAT, too!"
Tuesday November 03,
1992
Tags #little, #doggie, #dude, #Dogbert, #driving, #school, #gruesome, #highway, #accidents, #intended, #helicopter
Transcript
A boy wearing a cap stands in front of Dogbert's desk and says, "Sign me up, little doggie-dude." Dogbert says, "We'll begin with a film about gruesome highway accidents. It is intended to shock you into driving safely." The boy sits in front of a television eating a snack. The boy asks, "Really? People get shocked by THIS?" Dogbert says, "I'll be following your car in a helicopter."
Wednesday September 14,
1994
Tags #not welcome, #against rules, #eat ratbert, #work not done, #natural enemy, #keyboard, #mouse, #computer, #technology
Transcript
"You're not welcome here, Cat. It's against house rules to eat Ratbert." "My work here is not done until I have pounced on my natural enemy." "Who are you, and what are you doing on my keyboard?"
Sunday May 19,
1996
Tags #anti rust, #bald, #big field, #butterfly turned opera singer, #car dealer, #data compression, #dream analysts, #extended warranty, #new algorythm, #running against wind, #sealant, #serious money
Transcript
Someone reaches for a door labeled "Dogbert's Dream Analysis." Dogbert and a man sit at a conference table. The man says, "I was in a big field full of tofu and carburetors." Dogbert says, "It means you're a gullible moron. That's $25 please." A woman tells Dogbert, "Then I was running, running, running against the wind." Dogbert replies, "That means you're ugly." Wally tells Dogbert, "Then the butterfly turned into an opera singer." Dogbert says, "That means you're bald." Dilbert tells Dogbert, "Suddenly I saw a new algorythm for data compression." Dogbert replies, "It means you're boring." The Boss tells Dogbert, "Then I told the car dealer I wanted the anti-rust sealant, the extended warranty and the lease option." The Boss asks, "What do you think it means?" Dogbert replies, "It means I'm going to make some serious money today."
Thursday April 24,
1997
Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #discriminated against, #family emergencies, #ratted out boss, #family friendly policy, #love family
Transcript
Alice sits in a chair and Catbert sits on a couch. Alice says, "I'm being discriminated against because I take time off for family emergencies." Catbert replies, "I'll handle this by telling your boss that you ratted him out to the Director of Human Resources." Alice says, "I thought we had a 'Family Friendly' policy." Catbert says, "The key word is FRIENDLY. You've been acting as if you LOVE your family."