Dilbert sits in a travel agency. The travel agent says, "I recommend a trip to 'Clyde Canyon' for your vacation." Dilbert looks at a brochure and asks, "What would I do there?" The travel agent responds, "You could look at the scenery . . . Take some pictures." Dilbert asks, "Can't I just look at the brochure and stay home?" The man replies, "Yeah, that's what I do."
Dogbert's Ad Agency
Dogbert: Ive developed a new slogan that captures the essence of those company. "we abuse our employess and pass the savings to you"
We'll film actual employees in their squalid cubicles.
The boss: Wear that shirt
Dogbert's Ad Agency
Dogbert: Your commercial should compare your best assets to the competition's worst.
we'll use a hidden camera to film your employees on the job.
The Boss: I missed something here...
Dogbert: we'll imply that they all work for the competition . this isn't a documentary.
The Boss: "You're fired, Wally. But since we care, we've contracted an outplacement agency to help you."
The Boss: "You'll get your own cubicle. And you can make all the photocopies you want!"
Wally: "What would I want to photocopy?"
The Boss: "Food stamps, dollar bills, that sort of thing."
Wally stands in front of Dilbert who is seated at his desk. Wally is reading a piece of paper and says to Dilbert, "Your contributions to 'United Charity' are below average for your pay level." Dilbert says, "Actually, I donate ten percent of my income and thousands of hours to local groups not on your approved list." Wally writes on the sheet, ". . . Not a team player." Dilbert says, "I fund an agency that keeps people like you away from society."
New Temp: Im from the DOgbert Temp agency, DO you need a hand?
Dilbert: I get it, her her!
New Temp: Get what?
Dilbert: Then I said, "Don't get mad: try counting to fifteen"
Wally: Ouch.
THE AD AGENCY: Pete Peters, holding up a picture of a cat, says, "This cat will say something." Pete Peters, holding up a picture of another cat, says, "Then this other cat will say, 'Yeah, right.' It's like sarcasm." The Boss howls with laughter, "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Dilbert says to Wally, "This explains so much."
THE AD AGENCY: Pete Peters of the Creative Team holds up a picture of a stick figure and says, "The stick man runs through a tire fire and gets eaten by a giant wolverine." Sitting between Wally and Dilbert at the table, The Boss asks, "Will that make people like us?" Pete Peters says, "It's not an exact science."
THE AD AGENCY: The Boss asks Pete Peters of the Creative Team, "Is it wise to insult all of these minority groups in our commercial?" Pete says to The Boss, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" The Boss asks, "Does our company have to spit on a flag?" Pete says, "That's it; you're on my 'difficult client' list now."
Headline: In Elbonia. Two Elbonians point to a diagram. One says to Dilbert, "Our business plan was to sell mud to people who live in mud." The Elbonian continues, "Later we shrewdly expanded our offerings to include pet grooming and lingerie." The diagram is now a picture of lingerie. The Elbonian continues, "Frankly, I blame our ad agency for what happened next." He holds up a picture of a pig in lingerie.
