Aggressive Comic Strips
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18 Results for Aggressive
View 1 - 10 results for aggressive comic strips. Discover the best "Aggressive" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday June 17,
2011
Tags #business ethics, #inefficiencies, #kaizen team, #soultions, #busy, #being ineffcient, #ignorance, #aggressive type of objectivity
Transcript
Wally: I noticed some inefficiencies in another department, so I formed a Kaizen team to find solutions. I asked some of the peopl in that department to be on the team, but they were busy being inefficient. With any luck, my ignorance of their function will be seen as an aggressive type of objectivity.
Thursday September 15,
2011
Tags #anger, #debates, #more aggressive, #blaming others, #lack of success, #keeping from work
Transcript
Wally: I've decided to become more aggressive in blaming others for my lack of success. For example, you're keeping me from working right now. Dilbert: No I'm not. Wally: I DON'T HAVE TIME TO STAND HERE AND ARGUE WITH YOU ALL DAY!
Saturday October 08,
2011
Tags #doctors, #employees, #medicines, #nice guys, #paid less, #aggressive jerks, #offer raise, #testosterone injections, #illegal, #dangerous, #unethical, #tiny income, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: Studies show that nice guys get paid less than aggressive jerks. Dogbert: Maybe you should offer your doctor 10% of your next raise if he gives you testosterone injections. Dilbert: That would be illegal, dangerous, and unethical. Dogbert: Said the man with the tiny income.
Monday October 10,
2011
Tags #money, #prices, #aggressive jerks, #underpaid nerdling, #give her a raise, #nice employees
Transcript
Dilbert: I read that aggressive jerks get paid more than nice employees. Alice: Step aside, underpaid nerdling! Boss: Remind me to give her a raise, and I don't know why.
Saturday February 21,
2004
Tags #make ted quit, #aggressive replacement, #share resources, #job unbearable, #pants, #in same pants
Transcript
The boss: I hate Ted. How can I make him quit? Catbert: "That's easy." "Hire an aggressive replacement for Ted who will share his resources and make his job unbearable." Ted: "These are my pants." "Are you still here?"
Friday December 28,
2012
Tags #anger, #Games, #aggressive recently, #testosterone, #trivia contest, #useless worm
Transcript
Dilbert: I've been aggressive recently. Wally: I haven't noticed. Dilbert: I think my testosterone is all jacked up because I won the company's online trivia contest. Not get out of my way, useless worm. Wally: Okay, I'm starting to see it.
Tuesday April 01,
2008
Tags #coffe maker, #aggressive, #machine, #contraption, #big, #metal, #fierce, #ridiculous
Transcript
Wally: You must be the new coffee machine. Thoop! It's aggressive, but I like that in my coffee makers."
Saturday August 10,
2013
Tags #apathy, #sleeping & waking up, #work ethic, #aggressive recruiter, #passive job seeker, #hidden gems, #passive, #falling in love
Transcript
Recruiter: I'm an aggressive recruiter looking for passive job seekers. Passive job seekers are hidden gems for recruiters, and you're the most passive one I've ever seen. Stop making me love you! Wally: ZZZZZZ.
Saturday April 28,
2018
Aggressive Littering
Tags #guilt, #plea, #charges, #littering, #murder, #rich people, #discrimination
Transcript
Dilbert: I thought you were going to jail for murdering the clients of your cryogenic investment firm. Dogbert: I argued that my clients were already dead. The judge reduced the charge to "aggressive littering." Dilbert: You kicked two-hundred unfrozen brains into the river. Dogbert: You sound just like that angry prosecutor.
Sunday April 13,
1997
Tags #project plan requested, #working day and night, #wold chipmunks, #clip art, #never mic sarcasm, #good clip art
Transcript
Dilbert enters the Boss's office. He says, "Here's my project plan as you requested." Dilbert explains, "Our team is already working day and night on other projects." Dilbert continues, "I assumed we'd give up eating, sleeping and bathing to fit this in." Dilbert continues, "By the second week we'll be starving, delirious and stinking." Dilbert continues, "We'll be like wild, unpredictable animals." Dilbert continues, "Specifically, we'd be like wild chipmunks. None of us are very aggressive." Dilbert points to the proposal and says, "This clip art represents us in week three as a pile of dead chipmunks." Wally asks Dilbert, "Now he wants it in two weeks?" Dilbert says, "Never mix sarcasm with good clip-art."