Agrees With Everything Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Agrees With Everything

View 1 - 10 results for agrees with everything comic strips. Discover the best "Agrees With Everything" comics from Dilbert.com.

Everyone Says You Disagree With Everything

Thank you for voting.
Everyone Says You Disagree With Everything - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2018's comic on:


Tags #accusation, #catch-22, #rebuttal, #defensive

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Everyone says you aren't being a team player because you keep disagreeing with everything. Dilbert: Everyone does not say that, and I don't disagree with everything. Boss: There you go again. You'd be a terrible lawyer. Dilbert: Thank you.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 1998's comic on:


Tags #agrees with everything, #boss, #complimentary, #meeting, #not authentic, #sidekick, #sycophant, #yes man, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally, The Boss, and Allen the Sycophant sitting at table. The Boss says, "That's my plan. What does everyone think?" Allen exclaims, "Brilliant!" The Boss and Dilbert looking at Allen as he raves, "THAT IS THE BEST PLAN EVER MADE!! WOW! OOH-WAH! YOU DA MAN!!" The Boss says, "That's the type of honest feedback we need." Allen says, "I love it when you exhale in my direction."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #step, #outside, #smallish, #side, #kick, #fight, #butt, #wants, #piece, #accidentally, #soak

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and some co-workers sit at a conference table. A tiny man says to Dilbert, "I disagree with everything you said. Who wants to step outside and fight about it?!!!" The little man says, "I may be on the smallish side but I can kick any butt in this room!!" The short man continues, "C'mon, who wants a piece of me??!" A woman next to Dilbert whispers, "It's my fault. I accidentally used him to soak up a coffee spill this morning."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 1998's comic on:


Tags #socially defective, #unique preferences, #arguments, #dating, #girl, #dilbert defending himself, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and woman walking wearing coats. Woman says, "I don't understand why you like the things you like." Woman continues, "I'm forced to conclude that you're socially defective." Woman and Dilbert walking over cobblestone bridge. Dilbert says, "Isn't it normal for people to have unique preferences?" Woman responds, "Do you have to argue with EVERYTHING I say?!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 2013's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #obliviousness, #thinking, #perspectives, #benefits, #thought diveristy, #all idiots

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired people who have different perspectives so we could enjoy the benefits of thought diversity. But they disagree with everything I say, so I have to assume they're all idiots. Am I right? Catbert: Totally.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 2011's comic on:


Tags #gadgets, #scientific equipment, #data center, #lights out, #eliminate problems, #moving cables, #power cords, #ruining everything, #speakerphone, #humans are germs, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Voice: The data center is evolving into a "lights out" operation. Employees will no longer be allowed in the data center. We hope to eliminate all of the problems that humans cause by moving cables, unplugging power cords, and ruining everything with their dirt and static. Dilbert: He makes it sound as if the data center is alive and we humans are nothing but germs. Alice: By the way, who called this meeting and who's on the speakerphone? Dilbert: Are you... the data center? Noise: CLICK. Dilbert: I have a bad feeling about this.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #read, #sculpt, #elephant, #start, #chunk, #marble, #remove, #everything

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert holds a chisel and other carving tools. A block of marble sits on a stand under a picture of an elephant. Dilbert says to Dogbert who sits on a stool watching, "I've read that it's easy to sculpt an elephant . . ." Dilbert continues, "You just start with a chunk of marble and remove everything that doesn't look like an elephant." Later, Dilbert stares at the chips of marble that remain on the stand. Dilbert thinks, "Apparently, this chunk of marble didn't have an elephant in it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 1996's comic on:


Tags #new vp comig, #demo, #holographic inetrface, #everything fine, #product demos, #loyal peon

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of a table with a computer monitor on it. Wally is under the table pretending to be a 3-D interface. The Boss says to Dilbert nervously, "Our new VP is coming. Is the demo of our holographic interface ready?" Dilbert says, "Everything should be fine . . . Unless we're suddenly visited by the dark angel of product demos . . ." Phil appears inside the monitor next to Wally and says, "Hello-o-o, Wally. Did somebody say 'demo?'" Wally looks shocked. Dilbert says to the new VP, "I'm Dilbert; loyal peon."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 1997's comic on:


Tags #incredibly sexy, #fuzzy guy, #dogebrt, #dillbert, #in touch with feelings, #make me doubt, #scientific methid

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands with the cute girl. Dilbert wears a jogging suit. The girls says, "Wow. you're an incredibly sexy man. It's too bad I met this little fuzzy guy first." The girls says, "But looks aren't everything. Studies show that women want a man who is in touch with his feelings." Dilbert raises his eye brows. Dilbert screams, "I hate my life!!" The girls says, "Gee. That's enough to make me doubt the scientific method."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 1997's comic on:


Tags #compliments, #compliments list, #everything you say, #lower opinion, #analyze identity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Dilbert go for a walk. Dogbert says, "When you're with a woman, everything you say will lower her opinion of you." Dilbert says, "But, I can give her compliments, right?" Dogbert's ears standon end. He says, "No! That's the worst thing." Dogbert says, "Women keep a log of all compliments. They analyze the pattern to identify negative trends." Dilbert says, "Should I use my real name?"