Alice's Document Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

243 Results for Alice's Document

View 1 - 10 results for alice's document comic strips. Discover the best "Alice's Document" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #few suggestions, #alice's document, #bonk, #guards to document, #obtuse acronyms, #jargon, #multi topic sentences, #stubby, #plastic stautes

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice sits at her desk. Wally enters and says, "I had a few suggestions on your document, Alice." Wally bangs his head on her monitor. Alice says, "Thanks." The Boss approaches Alice's desk and says, "I've made some upgrades to your document, Alice." Alice looks at the paper and says, "That's just what it needed: a bunch of obtuse acronyms and jargon." Alice continues, "Oooh, looky! You've also made elegant multi-topic sentences out of my stubby clear ones!" The Boss replies, "Thank you. And put me down as the author since I'm the boss." Alice says, "Maybe I should distribute little plastic statues of you with every copy. How about that?" Alice hands Dilbert a statue and a document and says, "Here's your copy, here's your statue, don't ask." Dilbert says, "Our quality is low, but at least we don't get credit."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big dumb guy, #disagree, #lazy, #habitual liar, #excellent track record, #excellent work

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss brings a Big Dumb Guy to Alice's desk. He says, "Alice, I'd like you to work with this big dumb guy." The Boss continues, "He doesn't know he's dumb. So he'll tell people you're dumb if you ever disagree." The Boss: "He's also lazy and a habitual liar." Alice shouts, "Then why do you let him work here?!" The Boss explains, "He has an excellent track record. No one knows why." In front of the Boss and Alice, the Big Dumb Guy bends over and picks up the document that Alice was working on from her desk. Big Dumb Guy shows Alice's document to the Boss. Big Dumb Guy says, "Look what I just did." The Boss responds, "Excellent work." Alice is flabbergasted. The Boss tries to console Alice, who is furious, with "Remember Alice, you're never too old to learn."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #urgent document, #overnight drop, #nine minutes, #spare, #eight minutes, #coffee fisrt, #truck pulling away, #box, #wedge, #back bumper

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol stands behind Alice who is at her computer. Carol says, "I'm taking your urgent document to the overnight drop box, with nine minutes to spare." Carol says, "The box is only eight minutes away. I'll stop for coffee first." Alice grimaces. Carol says, "Don't worry. If the truck is pulling away from the box, I'll wedge this in the back bumper." Carol holds out Alice's report. Alice makes the fists of death.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #cubicle, #in box, #neat cubicle, #document, #on chair, #desk chair

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Gaaa!!! Every time I leave my cubicle, someone puts a document on my chair! I have an in-ox! Stop leaving stuff in my chair!!! Dilbert: How do you keep your cubicle so neat? Wally: I put everything on Alice's chair.

Wally's Document Doesn't Open

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Document Doesn't Open - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jargon, #laziness, #technology, #document, #project update, #hard disk, #erase, #reinstall, #operating system, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I couldn't open the document you sent with your project update. Wally: Try erasing your hard disk and reinstalling the operating system. Boss: I guess I don't need it that badly. Wally: After all the work I put into making that document?

Boss Makes Document Suggestions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Makes Document Suggestions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #employees, #frustrated, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #report, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Run this by Tina before you send it out. Dilbert: I already did. Boss: Make sure legal signs off on it. Dilbert: They did. Boss: Add the revenue graph from Alice's slide deck. Dilbert: It's in the exhibits in the back. Boss: You need to compare this plan to the "do nothing" option. Dilbert: That's on the next page. Boss: I need you to change something on this document so my life has meaning. Dilbert: I put a misspelled word on page seven for you. Boss: Fix it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #review document, #comments, #research, #postpone, #plan a, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'll review your document and give you my comments this afternoon. Dilbert: No you won't. You'll read one paragraph then tell me to go research something so you can postpone dealing with it. Boss: They know about Plan "A."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #editors, #document, #bad edits, #wrong religion, #fool

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: I made some edits to your document. Dilbert: These edits are so bad that my only choices are to send it out and make a fool of myself or insult your alleged intelligence. Coworker: Please let it be the first choice. Dilbert: I hope you didn't pick the wrong religion too.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #video conference, #desktop, #telecommuting, #level of professionalism, #share document, #next time

View Transcript

Transcript

"This desktop video conference thing is great!" "Even though you're telecommuting, you still maintain a level of professionalism." "Let's share a document next time."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #iso 9000 certfication, #create boring, #poorly written document, #big binder, #copies to dept. heads, #dead racoon

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert puts a transparency on an overhead projector and says, "Here's the basic plan for getting our 'ISO 9000' certification." Dilbert points at the diagram and continues, "Each of you will create an insanely boring, poorly written document. I'll combine them into one big honkin' binder." Dilbert points to a picture of a man passing a binder to another man and continues, "I'll send copies to all department heads for comment. They will treat it like a dead raccoon and route it to the first passerby."