dogbert: my job as a crisis consultant is to help you respond to the allegations from seventy-three of your past and present subordinates. i'll issue a statement from you saying everyone of them is lying.
ceo: who would be dumb enough to believe that?
dogbert: i call them "the public."
dilbert: I have been cleared of all allegations against me, but where do i go to get my reputation back?
dogbert: i recommend running into a burning building to save a baby.
dilbert: what if no buildings are on fire?
dogbert: have you heard of matches?