Alter Personality Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

64 Results for Alter Personality

View 1 - 10 results for alter personality comic strips. Discover the best "Alter Personality" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 1999's comic on:

Tags #abuse of coworkers, #counsel, #alter personality, #talking, #dna changing, #tingle

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice is at her computer and the boss says: "Alice, I've been asked to counsel you about your abuse of co-workers." The boss says: "The theory is that I can alter your personality by talking to you." Alice grinds her teeth and shakes her fists in the air while the boss says: "If you feel a tingle, that's probably your DNA changing."

Robot Personality Defect

Thank you for voting.
Robot Personality Defect - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 2015's comic on:

Tags #defect, #defective, #Men, #personality, #patriarchy, #gender, #programming, #robot, #deception, #trick, #technology, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: We need to design a defect into our robots so we can control them if they try to take over. But it has to be the type of defect that they think is an advantage, so they don't know what we're up to. Alice: I gave you the personality of a guy. Robot: Yay for sports! I own this world, bro!

How To Use Personality Profiles

Thank you for voting.
How To Use Personality Profiles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 2018's comic on:

Tags #personality test, #personaity, #privacy, #memory, #forgetfulness, #absent mindedness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We all took the Dogbert Personality Test, bu tit's not clear how we're supposed to use the information. I mean, how does it help me to know you're a forgetful moron who can't keep a secret? Boss: Who showed you my private test results? Dilbert: You did.

Dogbert's Personality Profiles

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert's Personality Profiles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2018's comic on:

Tags #consultant, #personality, #test, #business, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I have the results of your Dogbert Personality Profiles. Based on your questionnaire answers, Alice is angry, Wally is lazy, and Dilbert is boring. Dilbert: How are we supposed to use this new information? Dogbert: Wake me up when he's done talking.

Terrible Personality

Thank you for voting.
Terrible Personality - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2018's comic on:

Tags #hiring, #company culture, #personality, #engineers, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Which one of the engineering candidates should I hire? Dilbert: Both are highly experienced, but one has a terrible personality. Boss: Sounds like a perfect fit. Dilbert: I told him to expect an offer.

View more books now

Catbert Personality Test

Thank you for voting.
Catbert Personality Test - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2018's comic on:

Tags #Catbert, #applicants, #personality, #test, #reliable, #Astrology, #reliability

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: All job applicants must take the Catbert personality test to see how well they will fit into our culture. Studies show the test is twice as reliable as using astrology alone. Man: Astrology has zero reliability. Catbert: You're not a good fit.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #personality, #cult, #wear, #bathrobes, #picture, #back, #run, #naked, #attractive, #people

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm going to form a personality cult to honor me." Dogbert continues, "I'll take everybody's money and make them wear bathrobes with my picture on the back." Dilbert asks, "Wouldn't it be cheaper to brand them and let them run naked?" Dogbert replies, "As a rule, we're not talking about attractive people here."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #rat, #plague-carrying, #vermin, #household, #personality, #television

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Dilbert, this is a rat. Rat, this is Dilbert." The rat says, "I've come to live here!" Dilbert says, "How lucky for us. We were just saying how much we needed a plague-carrying vermin to round out the household." The rat says to Dogbert, "He doesn't have much of a personality . . ." Dogbert replies, I usually drown him out with the television."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 1990's comic on:

Tags #dilbert's ego, #sunglasses, #personality, #toupee, #roy orbison, #rely, #employee, #store, #update, #image

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert's Ego: I'm Dilbert's ego. I'd like to update image with a toupee. Male Employee: I recommend the, "Roy Orbison," Model. It comes with sunglasses. Dilbert's Ego: Now I won't have to rely so heavily on my personality,

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #television, #show, #ignorant, #people, #shadows, #alter, #voice, #electronically, #considerate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm going to host my own television show." Dogbert continues, "It's called 'Dogbert's World of Amazingly Ignorant People.'" Dogbert continues, "Of course, I'll film you in shadows and alter your voice electronically." Dilbert replies, "That's very considerate."