Always Right Comic Strips
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932 Results for Always Right
View 1 - 10 results for always right comic strips. Discover the best "Always Right" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday February 22,
1997
Tags #abandon logic, #manage cliches, #one bird, #always right handed, #actually inprovement
Transcript
The Boss tells Dilbert, "I've decided to abandon logic and manage by cliches." The Boss continues, "It won't be easy, but I'll take it one bird at a time." The Boss continues, "And remember, the customer is always right-handed." Dilbert says, "This is actually an improvement."
Wednesday February 28,
2001
Tags #always right, #arrogance, #management training, #punished, #two rules, #customer
Transcript
MANAGEMENT TRAINING: Dogbert says, "There are two essential rules of management." The Management Training class, with Alice sitting in the front row, listens as Dogbert continues, "One: The customer is always right." Dogbert continues, "Two: They must be punished for their arrogance!"
Friday November 02,
2007
Tags #customer, #debunked theory, #lingerie store, #refrigeartor, #snowtires, #stomp tail, #customer always right
Transcript
Ratbert: I'd like to buy some snow tires for a refrigerator. CLerK: "This is a lingerie store. Get lost before I stomp on your tail." Ratbert: "I think I debunked the theory that the customer is always right."
Sunday December 10,
2000
Tags #doing it wrong, #response time, #sub second, #two seconds, #always right, #never wrong, #screaming
Transcript
Noriko says to Dilbert, "And we'll have sub-second response time. Dilbert says to Noriko, "Actually, it's already two seconds, and your change will add two more." Noriko exclaims to Dilbert, "Why do you always have to be right?!" Noriko says to Dilbert, "Just once can't you admit I'm right?" Dilbert says, "Okay, I admit that two plus two equals less than one." Noriko says, "I don't mean now, jerk. I mean in general." Dilbert says, "Okay. In general I admit that the rules of physics are optional." Noriko exclaims, "You're doing it wrong!!" Dilbert says, "You're right. My fault again."
Thursday November 01,
2007
Tags #always wrong, #recommend shopping
Transcript
RatBert: I'm always wrong about everything. What can I do to fix that? Dogbert: "I recommend shopping. The customer is always right." Ratbert: "Shopping makes me smart?!!" Dogbert: "You aren't shopping yet."
Sunday September 19,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #Wally, #cryogenic, #death, #future
Transcript
The Boss tells Wally and Dilbert, "I just arranged to have my body cryogenically frozen before my death." The Boss continues, "In a hundred years I'll be revived and cured. That way, future generations will get the benefits of knowing me." Wally says, "I hope you have a good warm coat." The Boss asks, "Coat? Nobody said anything about needing a coat." Wally explains, "Obviously you need a coat. It's freezing in that cryogenic chamber. You'd better wear long underwear too." Wally continues, "Don't let then tell you otherwise. Remember, the customer is always right!" The Boss walks away thinking, "I want a space heater in there too!" Dilbert tells Wally, "That wasn't nice." Wally replies, "I did it for future generations."
Saturday March 20,
1999
Tags #disagree alice, #proved correct, #every single time, #boss, #argument, #office
Transcript
Alice is in the boss' office. The boss says, "I have to disagree with you Alice." Alice says, "Have you noticed that every time we disagree, I'm eventually proved correct?" Alice says, "Every SINGLE TIME!!!" The boss says, "Yes, but I'M always right initially."
Friday May 24,
2019
Counting Morons
Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #moron
Transcript
office worker, dilbert and the boss at conference table. office worker: dilbert and i disagree on how to fix the bug. dilbert: for context, one of us is a moron, and one of us is always right. the boss: i'm confused because there are three of us here. dilbert: i forgot one moron.
Friday January 14,
2022
Customer Is Always Right
Wednesday August 17,
2011
Tags #mathematics, #questioning, #second option, #feels right, #ignore data, #intuition, #slippery slope, #witch craft
Transcript
Boss: The second option feels right. Let's go with that. Dilbert: Should we always ignore what the data says, or is this more of a one-time thing? Boss: It's call intuition. Dilbert: It's a slippery slope to witchcraft.