Amazingly Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

10 Results for Amazingly

View 1 - 10 results for amazingly comic strips. Discover the best "Amazingly" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #amazingly, #ignorant, #people, #visit, #economics, #fed, #increased, #money, #supply, #interview, #Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands in front of a television camera holding a microphone. Dogbert says, "Welcome to Dogbert's World of Amazingly Ignorant People." Dogbert continues, "Tonight we'll visit people who don't understand economics but talk about it anyway." A man says, "So, I heard the Fed increased the money supply, but I checked my bank balance and it's the SAME as before." Another man says, "That isn't fair."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 1997's comic on:

Tags #great news, #sell product line, #strongest comepetitor, #not viable, #amazingly stupid, #integrating line, #work here

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss walks up to Dilbert who is sitting at his computer. The Boss says, "Great news! Our strongest competitor offered to sell us their product line." Dilbert says, "Obviously they think their products are not viable. We'd have to be amazingly stupid..." The Boss interputs, "And you'll be in charge of integrating their product line with ours." Dilbert finishes, "...to work here."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 1994's comic on:

Tags #pyramid scam, #marketing breakthrough, #new recruit, #amazingly wealthy, #being your own boss, #one thousand dollars, #the world pays, #money, #scam

View Transcript

Transcript

"Remember, it's not a pyramid scam, it's a marketing breakthrough!" "The beauty of it is a new recruit is born every minute." "Are we guaranteed to become amazingly wealthy?" "While being our own boss?" "Yes, unless you're lazy or ethical." "Each person you recruit pays you one thousand dollars. The recruits get their own recruits and charge them TWO thousand, and so on." "Eventually, every person on Earth will be giving you money. And that adds up." "You can't argue with the math." "I feel like we're a big family." "The best part is that every person on Earth will get rich!" "Actually, the last recruit kinda gets it in the shorts."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #dying, #smart, #pap smear, #normal

View Transcript

Transcript

A doctor says to Dilbert, "It seems we had a mix-up with your test results." Dilbert asks, "Then I'm not dying?" The doctor replies, "We doctors are amazingly smart, but occasionally we make a little error." Dilbert says, "Well . . . I understand." The physician looks at a chart and says, "By the way, your pap smear was normal."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #television, #show, #ignorant, #people, #shadows, #alter, #voice, #electronically, #considerate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm going to host my own television show." Dogbert continues, "It's called 'Dogbert's World of Amazingly Ignorant People.'" Dogbert continues, "Of course, I'll film you in shadows and alter your voice electronically." Dilbert replies, "That's very considerate."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #episode, #ignorant, #people, #australia, #globe, #alps, #kangaroos, #london, #inspiration, #bitter, #disapointment

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands next to a globe and says into a microphone, "On this episode of 'Dogbert's Amazingly Ignorant People' we ask people to find Australia on the globe." A woman looks at the globe and asks, "Is that the place with the Alps or the kangaroos?" A man says, "I think it's in London." Dogbert says, "When we return: inspiration becomes bitter disappointment." The woman says, "Hey! Who says it has to be on the OUTSIDE?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #episode, #amazing, #ignorant, #people, #history, #perished

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: On today's episode of, "Dogberts amazingly ignorant people" we talk to people who don't know history. How many people perished because of world war II? Man: Uh... 400? Dogbert: The answer is fifty million. Man: Oh... Rounding.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 1993's comic on:

Tags #the boss, #alice, #Dilbert, #seminar

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert and Alice, "I found a seminar that will teach fire-walking as a way to build confidence." The Boss continues, "Each of you will have to walk barefoot over burning coals while I watch!" Dilbert asks, "But amazingly, we learn how to do it without injury, right?" The Boss replies, "No, that seminar costs a lot more."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 1996's comic on:

Tags #update objectives, #need targets, #hard work, #support management, #picture

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice sits at her desk. The Boss says, "It's time for me to update your objectives, Alice." The Boss continues, "We need targets that can only be achieved by amazingly hard work plus the constant support of management." The Boss says, "I'm busy, so you'll have to write them yourself." Alice asks, "What's wrong with this picture?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 1993's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #alice, #space, #computer, #office, #case study, #todd, #allen, #Men

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert holds a pointer and says, "Today you will learn how to deal with people who have personality defects." The caption says, "Case 1: Todd laughs nervously at every one of his own comments." Todd says, "Don't hold it against me! Hee hee!" The caption says, "Remedy: Todd must be relocated to a distant planet." A space shuttle leaves a planet. On the planet's surface, Todd says, "It sure is lonely! Hee hee! The caption says, "Case 2: Allen stares at you like a zombie for long periods before responding to questions." The caption says, "Remedy: Allen must be paired with Virginia (Case 3) who fills all quiet spots with inane chatter." Dogbert pushes Virgina toward Allen. The caption says, "Case 4: Matt speaks slowly about amazingly boring topics." Matt says, "I . . . ate . . . a . . . pickle . . ." The caption says, "Remedy: Matt's head can be outfitted with a reading stand." A man reads a book that rests on Matt's head. Matt says, "I . . . like . . . pickles . . ." The caption says, "Case 5: An engineer. Remedy: Very quietly seal him in his own cubicle." Dogbert builds a brick wall in the door of Dilbert's cubicle.