Search Results for "ambiguous"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 9 of 9

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2000's comic on:

Tags #halluciantaing, #Dilbert, #punish, #ambiguous, #untraceable, #die dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss is sitting at his desk thinking, "Did Dilbert do something terrible or am I hallucinating?" The boss continues to think, "I'd better play it safe and punish him in ways that are ambiguous and untraceable." A woman stands behind Dilbert and says, "I had to change your network password to 'Die-Dilbert-Die' and I can't say why."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 2004's comic on:

Tags #social situtaion, #ambiguous tight lipped smile, #look away

View Transcript

Transcript

"Uh-oh. It's a gray area social situation." "Do I know this guy well enough to say hi, or do I look away?" "So I went with an ambiguous tight-lipped smile that could be confused with a stomach ache." "Your stories suck."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 1999's comic on:

Tags #Wally, #meeting, #does nothing, #angrily identify problems, #not job, #ambiguous, #taking forever, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally, Dilbert, and others are in a meeting. Wally raises his hand and says, "Someone should take care of that problem!" Dilbert turns to Wally and says, "YOU should take care of it." Wally replies, "I can't do everything." Alice says, "You don't do anything." Asok adds, "Not a single thing." Wally says, "It's my job to angrily identify problems." The Boss, with his head in his hands, interjects, "Wally..." The Boss continues, "This is NOT your job!" Wally asks, "What?" Wally is up in arms as he says to the Boss, "Everything is so ambiguous here! Someone should take care of that problem!" Turning to Dilbert, Wally adds, "Is it just me, or is this meeting taking forever?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2012's comic on:

Tags #work ethic, #projects, #meetings, #ambiguous golas, #no budget, #angry team, #overworked people

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's your project going? Dilbert: Do you mean the one that has no management support, ambiguous goals, no budget, and an angry team of overworked people who want it to die? Boss: No, the other one. Dilbert: Sometimes there isn't an "other one."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2007's comic on:

View Transcript

Transcript

"I spent this entire week unscrewing the problems created by your ambiguous communication." "Next week I hope to unscrew the problems created by your hiring of morons." "Moving on, I've made some changes to the budget." "There goes April."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 2012's comic on:

Tags #despair, #prices, #social media expert, #fee, #pay scale, #popcorn, #meeting, #hope left body, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I assume we pay you based on how much you increase our social media hits. Consultant: No. My fee is whatever I think you're dumb enough to pay for ambiguous outcomes. Dilbert: Either hope just left my body or the popcorn is getting chatty. Social media expert

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 2001's comic on:

Tags #incompetent vp, #fired, #fvaor, #laugh, #resignation, #announcement, #terse, #incompetence, #ambiguaous, #meaning

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says to Fred, "Fred, you're an incompetent VP. You're fired." Fred asks, "May I ask for one favor?" Catbert says, "Sure. I could use a laugh." Fred says, "Please don't make my resignation announcement terse." Fred continues, "If it's terse, everyone will know I was fired for incompetence." Catbert smiles an ugly smile and Fred asks, "Does that smile mean you'll do what I ask?" Catbert says, "I'm sorry if that was ambiguous. Let me try again." Catbert smiles an even bigger ugly smile and Fred says, "I'm still not getting your meaning." Dilbert sits at his computer and reads a memo which says, "Re: Fred. Career dead."

Squirrel In The Large Hadron Collider

Thank you for voting.
Squirrel In The Large Hadron Collider - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2015's comic on:

Tags #criticism, #obliviousness, #ignorance, #idiocy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your comments on my technology strategy are ambiguous. You compared it to a "squirrel looking for a nut in the large hadron collider." Dilbert: So..? Boss: How many nuts are in there?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2018's comic on:

Tags #deception, #deceit, #contract, #cost, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Here's my invoice for the extras. Dilbert: The invoice we already paid covered everything in the contract. Man: That only covered the costs I quoted with intentional clarity. There are other costs that I might have mentioned in the long and rambling explanation that was intentionally ambiguous. Dilbert: "Might have??" I'm sure you did not. Man: Sounds like your word against mine. Dilbert: And even if you did mention it, you just said it was intentionally ambiguous!!! Man: I don't think you want to tell your boss you're a bad listener. Boss: I thought we already paid this vendor. Dilbert: Did you forget all the extras I told you about?