Analytical Mind Comic Strips
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265 Results for Analytical Mind
View 1 - 10 results for analytical mind comic strips. Discover the best "Analytical Mind" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday May 10,
1994
Tags #ratbert the consultant, #analytical mind, #business consultant, #socially dysfunctional, #brought in, #consulatant
Transcript
Ratbert the Consultant Dogbert: It takes more than a brilliant analytical mind to be a business consultant, You also need to be arrogant and socially dysfunctional, Ratbert: Does anybody know what a consultant was brought in to do your thinking? anybody? anbbody?
Friday January 09,
2015
Love Me For My Mind
Tags #dating, #love, #priorities, #relationships, #vanilla scented lotion, #mind
Transcript
Woman: I want a guy who loves me for me, and not for the way I look... or the things I do. Dilbert: That doesn't leave me much to work with. Can I love you for your money and your vanilla-scented body lotion? Woman: You could love me for my mind. Dilbert: That might have worked two minutes ago.
Thursday January 09,
2020
Mind Reading
Tags #business, #judge, #ruling, #gavel, #proof, #thoughts, #unfair, #mind, #reading
Transcript
court of stupidity judge with gavel: the court rules that dilbert should magically know what his boss wants at all times. dilbert: i'm not a mind-reader! judge: prove it! dilbert: how can i prove i can't read minds? judge: easy. tell me what i'm not thinking.
Wednesday April 08,
2020
Mind Control
Tags #business, #Dogbert, #slump, #sales, #clone, #product, #shoddy, #mind, #control, #legal, #notice
Transcript
dogbert: my team of dogbert clones has reversed your slumping sales. your products are still shoddy, but we use mind control to make people not notice. it's all perfectly legal. boss: i wasn't going to ask.
Friday May 14,
2021
Bigot In Your Mind
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #boss, #marriage, #avoid, #bigot, #mind, #self-deception, #real world, #Win, #hire
Transcript
boss: i hear you're marrying an elbonian man to avoid being called a bigot. but it doesn't work that way. you can still be a bigot in your mind, no matter what you do in the real world. dilbert: so... there's no way to win? boss: did i forget to tell you that when i hired you?
Saturday June 11,
2011
Tags #boredom, #despair, #mind numbing tesk, #stop thinking
Transcript
Asok: I can't wait to finish this mind-numbing task... so I can start another mind-numbing task. I really need to stop thinking.
Saturday September 10,
2011
Tags #cruelty, #thinking, #creative person, #bad at math, #analytical skills, #permanent
Transcript
Coworker: I like to think of myself as a creative person. Alice: And by that you mean you're bad at math and you don't have any analytical skills. Dilbert: Is it permanent?
Tuesday February 14,
2012
Tags #computer, #control computer, #invention, #inventions, #mind, #mobile (cell) phones, #phone, #power, #brain reader, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: My brain reader invention allows me to control any nearby computer. Co-worker: That's nothing! My phone can... Dilbert: I did that with my mind. Co-worker: That's nothing! I made you do it!
Thursday February 23,
2012
Tags #gadgets, #market, #bigger phone, #design, #market niche, #mind out of niche
Transcript
Boss: There's room in the market for a device that's bigger than a phone but smaller than a tablet. Dilbert: So you want me to design something that is a bad tablet and an even worse phone? Boss: To my mind, it's a market niche. Dilbert: Maybe you should get your mind out of your niche.
Friday June 02,
1989
Transcript
Dogbert sits on his pillow staring at a ball. Dogbert says, "Sometimes I think the brain holds great powers waiting to be discovered." Dogbert continues, "It's almost as if I can make this ball levitate with pure mind power." Dogbert concentrates on the ball. Dogbert says, "Dang. Nothing." Behind Dogbert, Dilbert's chair rises into the air and dumps him onto the floor.