Search Results for "analytics"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 5 of 5

Dating Is A B Testing

Thank you for voting.
Dating Is A B Testing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2015's comic on:

Tags #analysis, #comparison, #dating, #first date, #judging, #a-b testing, #click with, #analytics, #measuring, #too many questions, #relationships, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Have you been dating a lot? Dilbert: I call it A-B testing. I go on dates and then compare the analytics to see who I click with most.Woman: What exactly are you measuring? Dilbert: Asks too many questions.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2013's comic on:

Tags #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #actionable anlytics, #big data, #new jargon, #accelrate, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do we have any actionable analytics from our big data in the cloud? Dilbert: Yes, the data shows that my productivity plunges whenever you learn new jargon. Boss: Maybe in-memory computing will accelerate your applications. Dilbert: Plunge, plunge, plunge.

Click Rate On Death Alerts

Thank you for voting.
Click Rate On Death Alerts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 2015's comic on:

Tags #advertising, #technology, #analytics, #smart watch, #app, #ad, #click, #clickbait, #attention, #distraction

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our health app accurately predicts the user's time of death and sends a five-minute warning. Our business model is paid advertising that we disguise as "death alerts." CEO: How's the click-through rate? Boss: Surprisingly low. It's hard to get people's attention these days.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 2015's comic on:

Tags #jargon, #techspeak, #nonsense, #bluff, #deception, #conversation, #language

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, did you Uberize the slide deck? Wally: I harmonized it in the cloud. Boss: Are we ready for a trans-domain kick-off? Wally: I put a disruptive mesh network in the microservices of the Internet of things. Boss: Will that be good enough to "ask the fridge" or do I need to start disintermediating? Wally: It depends on if we have enough bandwidth to growth-hack the analytics. Boss: I just hope our clicks-and-mortar strategy staircases. Dilbert: I'm almost certain that was nonsense. Wally: Sometimes it's about the journey.

Ted Might Drop Dead

Thank you for voting.
Ted Might Drop Dead - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2017's comic on:

Tags #health, #monitor, #fitbit, #wearable tech, #heart attack, #diseases, #death, #prediction, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted, your performance is poor. I need to let you go. Ted: Is it a coincidence that you're firing me at the same time my employee health monitor detected cardiovascular disease? How good are the predictive analytics on this? Boss: Don't make lunch plans.

View more books now