Analyzed Comic Strips

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5 Results for Analyzed

View 1 - 5 results for analyzed comic strips. Discover the best "Analyzed" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2002's comic on:


Tags #analyzed, #corporate culture, #findings, #bunch unmotivated, #weasels, #knapsack

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Dogbert reports to The Boss, "I've analyzed your corporate culture and put my findings in this report." The Boss reads the report aloud, "The employees are a bunch of unmotivated weasels. I look good in this hat." Dogbert says, "I would have mentioned my knapsack but it's only a summary."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2002's comic on:


Tags #impossible assignment, #right place, #reword, #objectives, #match, #analyzed, #feasibility, #project, #discontinue

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Dilbert is home in his bathrobe. He says to Dogbert, "Can you help me weasel out of an impossible assignment?" Dogbert replies, "You came to the right place." Dogbert continues, "Gradually reword the objectives of the project until one day they match what you've already done." Headline: Six Months Later. Dilbert says to The Boss, "I successfully analyzed the feasibility of discontinuing the project." The Boss responds, "Success!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2007's comic on:


Tags #analyzed dna, #most qualified applicant, #willing to work, #has three ears, #snout, #life expectancy of thursday, #new guy

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Dogbert: I analyzed the DNA of all of your applicants to find the best fit for the job. The most qualified applicant who is willing to work for you has three ears, a snout, and a life expectancy of Thursday." The Boss: Dilbert, meet the new guy. And do it quickly." cough cough

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 1995's comic on:


Tags #3d rendering, #career, #computing needs, #finance dept

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Ratbert is seated at a table with Dilbert. Ratbert says, "The finance department has analyzed your computing needs and decided to give you a 286 PC." Ratbert continues, "That should be sufficient for the 3D-rendering you need to do." Ratbert continues, "Besides, how many times are you going to do 3D-rendering in your career?" Dilbert responds, "Once, if I hurry."

Boss Decision Making

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Boss Decision Making - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 2016's comic on:


Tags #decisions, #thinking, #stress, #hunger, #fitbit, #health tracker, #health

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Dilbert: I hacked into your fitness band and analyzed your decision-making under different conditions. When you are hungry, tired, or stressed, you make terrible decisions. Boss: How often is that? Dilbert: Only when you're awake.