Angel Of Competence Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

25 Results for Angel Of Competence

View 1 - 10 results for angel of competence comic strips. Discover the best "Angel Of Competence" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2013's comic on:

Tags #angel, #fix things, #granted wishes, #know it all, #needy, #questions, #things gone wrong, #workers, #angel of competence

View Transcript

Transcript

Angel: I am the angel of competence. I have come to mark you as an engineer turn around, Dilbert: So, its like an honor? Angel: Sure, if that makes you feel better. The Boss: Can you show me how to set ups my wireless router at home? Tina: My phone keeps freezing up, can you look at it? Ted: How long should I barbecue trick-tip? Man: The pilot lightly on my water heater is out, How do you fix cracks in a driveway? what exactly does iCloud do? GAAA!!! Dilbert: I need to talk to the angel of competence have you seen him? Wally: He died in my cubicle, Thats all Im saying.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 1995's comic on:

Tags #heaven, #Dogbert, #relaxed standards, #automatic, #halo, #frisbees, #angel, #pearly gates

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a cloud across from an angel at a podium. The angel says, "Welcome to heaven, Mister Dogbert." Dogbert says, "Wow, it looks like you guys relaxed your standards!" The angel says, "Dogs are automatic. No matter what you do, there's always a place in heaven for every little dog." Dogbert takes the angel's halo off and stands on the podium. The angel puts his hands on his hips and says angrily, "I'd like that back now, if you don't mind!!" Dogbert says, "What kind of distance can you get with these little 'Frisbees?'"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 1995's comic on:

Tags #angel, #promoted top angel, #angel on earth, #help people, #mission assigned, #halo given, #Wally, #new hair, #buns of steel, #price list

View Transcript

Transcript

Angel 1: Mister Dogbert, we've decided to send you back to earth as an angel. Your mission is to help people in need. We have given you special powers. Angel 2: We'll be watching. wally: Okay, is whats the price for the new hair plus buns of steel? Ahem. Dogbert: Ist all on the price sheet.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 1995's comic on:

Tags #special powers, #angel, #Dogbert, #snap of paw, #what people want, #instinctive, #boobs on man, #aim sticks

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert asks, "Are you saying that you're an angel now? And you have special powers to help people." Dilbert replies, "Exactly. I instinctively know what people want and I can give it to them with a snap of the paw." Dogbert snaps in the direction of the waitress. Dilbert asks, "Are you having any trouble controlling it?" Dogbert says, "My aim stinks." Behind them, a waiter looks shocked to see that he suddenly has large breasts. The waitress looks angry.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 1995's comic on:

Tags #revoke angel status, #bad name, #healing, #ugly people look attractive, #too late, #old look, #beautiful

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a desk. A voice from heaven says, "We've decided to revoke your angel status. You're giving us all a bad name." Dogbert says, "Your problem is that you define 'healing' too narrowly. I'm making ugly people look attractive, and that's important, too." Wally approaches Dogbert's desk. Wally's head has been replaced with Dogbert's head. He asks Dogbert, "Is it too late to go back to my old look?" Dogbert replies, "Why? You're beautiful!"

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 1996's comic on:

Tags #dazzling demo, #dark angel demos, #demo, #sham, #doomed, #file server, #worst is over

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to the new VP, "We planned a dazzling demo for you, but as you can see we're being visited by the dark angel of demos." From inside the monitor Phil says, "The demo is a sham. Their project is doomed. Cut their funding before your name is associated with it." The Boss and the new VP look shocked. Dilbert thinks, "The worst is over." Phil continues, "Look at some of the pictures the 'boys' store on the file server."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 1996's comic on:

Tags #boss zone, #no time, #no logic, #urgent work, #relax, #work smarter, #not harder, #angel of cynicism, #inspirational moral, #freedom, #not caring, #quality of work

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Go home, Dilbert. Relax! You're working too hard!" Dilbert sits at his desk and says, "You told me to finish this by tomorrow. You said it's urgent." The Boss waves his arms and says, "Relax! Go home! Shoo!" The caption says, "Suddenly Dilbert is sucked into the 'Boss Zone' where time and logic do not apply." Dilbert's head disappears into a hole in time. Dilbert floats by the Boss's head and asks, "How can I relax AND do urgent work at the same time?" The Boss replies, "Work smarter, not harder." Dilbert grabs his head and screams. The caption says, "Mercifully, the angel of cynicism appears." Dogbert flies up to Dilbert and says, "Slap something together in the morning. He won't look at it anyway." The caption says, "The inspirational moral . . ." Dilbert puts his coat on and leaves the office. He sings, "Freedom's just another word for not caring about the quality of your work!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 2005's comic on:

Tags #nick name, #illusion of competence, #the wizard, #info guru, #punch more, #break room, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I need a nickname to create the illutsion of competence.<Br>"I was thinking along the lines of "the wizard" or "info-guru."" I've never wanted to punch you more than at this very moment."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2008's comic on:

Tags #purse at home, #pay you, #curse of competence, #fortune teller, #curse on first born, #crystal ball

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert's Mom says, "I seem to have left my purse at home. I won't be able to pay you." A fortune teller says, "I put the curse of competence on your firstborn son!" Dilbert's Mom says, "That doesn't sound so bad." Years Later A man says, "I need a little help." Dilbert says, "GAAA! Why always me?!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2008's comic on:

Tags #logo for project, #badgered them, #finish it quickly, #competence by logo, #pile of poop

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Our graphics department made this logo for my project." Dilbert says, "In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have badgered them to finish quickly." Dilbert says, "Please don't judge my competence by my logo." Two people say, "Too late."