Angry Opinions Comic Strips
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274 Results for Angry Opinions
View 1 - 10 results for angry opinions comic strips. Discover the best "Angry Opinions" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday July 11,
1994
Tags #new career, #technology pundit, #columnist, #angry opinions
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm starting a new career as a technology pundit and columnist. This mostly involves forming angry opinions about things I haven't got the time to understand. Is the RISC processor appropriate for señor citizens? hello!! Is anybody home?!!
Tuesday January 11,
2011
Tags #engineers, #honesty, #viruses, #honest opinions, #causing problems, #medical records, #engineer, #classified as disease, #vaccination, #engineering
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I can't stop voicing my honest opinions. It's causing problems at work." Doctor says, "According to your medical records, you're an engineer. We classify that as a disease now." Man says, "Gaaa!!! You haven't had your pon farr vaccination." Dilbert says, "Is it warm in here?"
Sunday August 28,
2011
Tags #anger, #honesty, #meetings, #honest opinions, #plan, #hold back, #feedback, #monkey eats, #fermented fruit
Transcript
Boss: I want your honest opinions on my plan. Don't hold back anything. Asok: Does he mean that? Wally: Why don't you find out? Asok: Yes, I have some feedback. Your plan reminds me of what happens when a monkey eats a fermented fruit. He's all - ooh - ooh - ooh and then he falls out of the tree. ... Is that how he looks when he hears honesty? Wally: Beats me. I've never tried it.
Saturday December 10,
2011
Tags #despair, #office workers, #self respect, #prison, #goals, #slavery, #self inflicted, #angry, #weak
Transcript
Wally: Self-respect is like a prison for the soul. Goals are a form of self-inflicted slavery. Boss: Sorry I'm late. Wally: That which does not kill us makes us angry and weak.
Sunday December 11,
2011
Tags #meetings, #office workers, #focus areas, #sense of humor, #dumb enogh, #misunderstood man, #angry idiot, #selling it
Transcript
Boss: These are our 25 focus areas for next year. Asok: Ha ha! Good one. Sometimes I think you have no sense of humor and then zing! What? Dilbert: I think it's real. Asok: It can't be real. No one would be dumb enough to think we can focus on 25 areas. Don't worry. I've got this. This misunderstood man is a brilliant comedian. He is only pretending to be an angry idiot. You're totally selling it.
Tuesday September 04,
1990
Tags #dinosaur, #massage, #masseur, #miracle, #spa, #angry, #bob, #Dogbert, #age, #client
Transcript
Dogbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Bob, I'd like you to be the masseur for my New Age Miracle Spa." Bob replies, "Dinosaurs don't know much about massage." Dogbert says, "That's okay. Just hurt the clients as much as possible." Bob asks, "Won't they get angry?" Dogbert replies, "Bob, Bob, Bob . . . You really aren't tuned to the New Age, are you?"
Wednesday June 19,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #star, #lies, #money, #lawsuits, #angry, #tabloid, #devoted, #computer, #online
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a desk chair typing while Dilbert looks over his shoulder. Dogbert says, "I'm starting my own tabloid newspaper, the 'Dogbert Star.'" Dogbert explains, "All of the stories will be sensational lies about me . . . That way I'll save money on lawsuits." Dogbert types, "An angry Dogbert denied that his ego was so big he started a tabloid devoted entirely to himself."
Wednesday June 26,
1991
Tags #top, #executive, #lunch, #workers, #think, #speak, #freely, #lacking, #leadership, #initiative, #opinions, #risks, #fling, #potato, #au gratin
Transcript
Dilbert and an executive sit at a table eating lunch. The executive says, "I have these lunches to find out what the workers are thinking. You may speak freely." Dilbert says, "Okay . . . It seems like the company is lacking leadership and direction. The executives squelch all initiative by punishing those who take risks and voice opinions." The executive puts some food on his fork and says, "You leave me little choice but to fling this au gratin potato at your forehead."
Wednesday November 27,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #privacy, #Dilbert, #supreme court, #nomination, #hearings, #opinions, #Right, #life, #idiots
Transcript
At Dogbert's nomination hearings, a member of the Senate Judiciary Committee asks Dogbert, "Do you have any opinions on the right to privacy?" Dogbert replies, "No. In fact, I've never formed an important opinion in my entire life." The senator says, "You must think we're idiots." Dogbert replies, "Okay, I've formed ONE opinion . . . But that's all."
Thursday May 14,
1992
Tags #larry king, #live, #dog, #sexy, #beer, #commercial, #angry, #feminist, #encourage, #Women, #sex, #objects, #views, #Dogbert
Transcript
Larry King sits at a table and says into the microphone, "Tonight on 'Larry King Live' we have a dog who makes sexy beer commercials, plus an angry feminist." The woman points to Dogbert and says, "His commercials encourage discrimination against women by portraying us all as sex objects." Dogbert asks the woman, "Are you saying men are so dumb, they get their views on life from beer commercials?" The woman crosses her arms and says, "I call them like I see them."