Annoy Emplyees Comic Strips
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40 Results for Annoy Emplyees
View 1 - 10 results for annoy emplyees comic strips. Discover the best "Annoy Emplyees" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday August 07,
1995
Tags #catbert the hr director, #invent illogical policies, #annoy emplyees, #diabolical dress code, #question sanity, #casual clothes, #wally insane
Transcript
Catbert is at his desk. He thinks, "I think I'll invent some illogical policies to annoy employees." Catbert continues thinking, "My diabolical new dress code will make them question their own sanity." Reading a document, Dilbert tells Wally, ". . . So, casual clothes DON'T lower our stock value . . . but only if worn on Fridays . . . unless somebody sees us . . . Got it?" Wally puts his hands on his head and replies, "I think I'm insane."
Friday March 22,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #bad, #mood, #ears, #match, #back, #annoy, #better
Transcript
Dogbert thinks, "I'm in a bad mood. I'll have to annoy Dilbert and see if it makes me feel better." Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert stands behind him and says, "I just noticed that your ears don't match from the back." Dilbert gasps and grabs his ears. Dogbert walks away thinking, "Ahh . . ."
Monday January 02,
1995
Tags #more work, #same tiny raises, #clever shift, #management philosophy, #simple application, #annoy, #effect pay
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss who is seated at his desk. Dilbert says, "I accomplished twice as much as Wally this year, but we got exactly the same tiny raises." Dilbert says, "I'm wondering if this is a clever shift in management philosophy or a simple application of your ignorance?" The boss says, "You're starting to annoy me." Dilbert replies, "And that would affect my pay how?"
Monday September 02,
1996
Tags #network administartor, #Dogbert, #good opportunity, #annoy idiots, #start tomorrow, #pager number
Transcript
Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss asks, "Why do you want a job as our network administrator, Mister Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "I don't like people. This is a good opportunity to annoy idiots such as yourself for my own entertainment." The Boss says, "Wow. You're perfect. Can you start tomorrow?" Dogbert replies, "Sure, as far as you know. I'll give you my pager number."
Sunday October 04,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #smart, #good-looking, #objective, #hypothetical, #talented, #qualities, #annoy, #dog, #sarcasm
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit under a tree. Dilbert asks, "Do you think it's better to be smart or good-looking, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "I've been both for so long, it's hard to be objective." Dilbert says, "It's hypothetical. Suppose you had to pick one." Dogbert replies, "I'd stay as I am: smart, good-looking and talented." Dilbert says, "You can't add stuff. You have to start with nothing and pick either brains or good looks." Dogbert continues, "And witty too . . . Smart, good-looking, talented and witty." Dilbert says, "No, no, no . . . Suppose you had NONE of those qualities. What would you do then?" Dogbert replies, "I'd probably annoy my dog, same as you."
Tuesday July 01,
1997
Tags #goal is to be happy, #more successful, #annoy, #rat, #Dilbert, #lecture, #compare
Transcript
Ratbert and Dilbert are sitting on the couch. Ratbert says, "if the goal of all creatures is to be happy... and I'm happier than you are..." Ratbert continues, "We can conclude that I'm more successful than you are. Isn't that right?" Dilbert looks angry. Dilbert says, "You are REALLY starting to annoy me now." Ratbert says, "The gap widens. Yes!" and pumps his arm in victory.
Wednesday July 18,
2001
Tags #speakerphone, #annoy coworkers, #sociopth, #bit loud, #eating lunch, #delicious
Transcript
Ron is sitting at his desk. He thinks to himself, "If I use the speakerphone it will annoy my co-workers." He continues thinking, "Luckily for me, I'm a sociopath." Dilbert approaches from behind and says, "Two things: you're a bit loud... and you're eating my lunch." Ron responds, "It's delicious."
Monday April 26,
2010
Tags #deadline, #late, #engineer code, #lightsaber, #kill, #annoy, #flashlight, #yell, #close eyes, #mouth open, #office
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I cannot meet your arbitrary deadline, so the engineer's code requires me to kill myself with a lightsaber." Dilbert says, "But lightsabers haven't been invented yet. The best I can do is annoy myself with a flashlight." The Boss says, "Could you do this in the hall?" Dilbert says, "Annoyance before dishonor!"
Saturday March 21,
2015
Dogbert The Product Designer
Tags #annoy people, #frustration, #packaging, #product design, #sadism, #software, #torture, #product code, #engineering
Transcript
Dogbert the Product Designer. Dogbert: The main goal of product design is to annoy people for no reason. We'll start by making so much extra packaging that you need to rent a truck just to haul it away. Voice: We sell software. Man: I found the product code for downloading the software!
Saturday February 01,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #singing, #square-dancing, #bluff, #slap, #checks, #write, #strangers, #spouse
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a stage holding a microphone and saying, "Swing your partner, dosey-do. Now clap your hands . . ." On the dance floor, people are square dancing. Dogbert thinks, "Uh-oh, that's all the square dance moves I know . . . I'll bluff the rest." Dogbert says, "Slap your partner in the face, / Write bad checks all over the place, / Flirt with strangers, annoy your spouse, / Get a divorce and lose your house . . . Uh . . . dosey-do."