Another Engineer Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

615 Results for Another Engineer

View 1 - 10 results for another engineer comic strips. Discover the best "Another Engineer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hired psychologust, #handle stress, #another engineer, #freaking quack, #outburst from alice

View Transcript

Transcript

At a meeting, the Boss tells the employees: "I hired a psychologist to help you handle stress." Alice says angrily: "We need another engineer not a freakin' quack!!" The Boss turns to the psychologist and asks him: "Is there a pill for that?" The psychologist replies: "I took it."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hire another engineer, #last minute, #cost saving s awards, #plan to hire, #work twice as hard

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "I had planned to hire another engineer." The Boss continues, "At the last minute I rememered I could just make you work twice as hard." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Maybe you could nominate me for one of those cost saving awards."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #engineer, #electronics, #devices, #techno bill, #cellular, #phone, #modem, #dial, #systems, #autodialing

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to another engineer with electronic devices strapped to his body, "Please don't hurt me, Techno-Bill!" Bill says, "Make your move." Dilbert thinks, "My only chance is to use my cellular phone and modem to dial into his control module and set off all his systems." Techno-Bill says as he presses a button on his cellular phone, "Fool! I have autodialing." Dilbert runs away screaming as the gadgets on his belt ring and beep.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #demand for engineers, #supply, #increasing insolence, #decreasing prodcutivity, #hire engineer, #equilibrium restored

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally sitting at table. Wally says, "This week I discovered that the demand for engineers exceeds the supply." The Boss, Dilbert, and Wally sitting at table. Wally says, "I responded by increasing my insolence and decreasing my productivity." The Boss says, "I will never hire another engineer as along as I'm alive." "Equilibrium has been restored," says Wally.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #personal, #technology, #engineers, #superior, #techno bill, #fax

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and another engineer bow to Dilbert as he walks past. Dilbert thinks, "My vast array of personal technology makes me dominant over the less-equipped engineers." Dilbert thinks, "I am superior to them all . . . With the possible exception of . . ." Dilbert says as he encounters another engineer, "Techno-Bill!!" Techno-Bill has even more electronic gadgets strapped to his body than Dilbert. Bill says, "Looks like somebody just had a fax."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #electronics, #devices, #pager, #calculator, #watch, #technical, #superiority, #engineer, #challenges, #dominance, #ritualistic, #compass, #wireless, #fax

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, who is wearing a belt with several electronic devices attached to it, says, "Wally, I notice that all you have is a pager and a calculator watch." Wally thinks, "Uh-oh." Dilbert continues, "That's pathetic compared to my vast array of personal electronics. Do you yield to my technical superiority?" The caption says, "When a male engineer challenges another for dominance of the pack, there is a brief ritualistic battle rarely seen by outsiders." Wally says, "Stay back, I've got a compass!!" Dilbert yells, "Wireless fax!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #never undertsnd, #engineer, #all day meetings, #knowledge worker, #prodcut, #acronym, #puntucal, #dilbert's mother, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dilbert's mother offers him a cookie and says, "I'll never understand what you do for a living." Dilbert replies, "I told you I'm an engineer, Mom." Dilbert's mom says, "So you say, but you also say you spend all day in meetings. When do you do any engineering?" Dilbert replies, "Good point. Let's just say I'm what the experts call a 'knowledge worker.'" Dilbert's mother asks, "Which experts call it that?" Dilbert replies, "I don't know." Dilbert's mom asks, "What's the name of the product you're working on?" Dilbert responds, "I don't know what the acronym stands for . . ." Mom asks, "What kind of market penetration and return on investment do you expect?" Dilbert says, "Um . . . I don't know . . ." Dilbert's mom says, "Oh, dear . . . Well, I'm sure you're very punctual." Dilbert shouts, "Ask me another question!! C'mon . . ." Dogbert asks, "Why do they call you a 'KNOWLEDGE worker'?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #heals itself, #sales engineer, #sales rep, #totally true, #truth vs.lies, #questions

View Transcript

Transcript

Sales Engineer "Your sales rep told us that the product heals itself. Is that true?" Dilbert: It's totally true...that he said that. sales engineer: Let me ask this another way... Dilbert: NOOO!!! One way per question!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineer, #magic vendors fault, #network, #shoebox, #twigs and leaves, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Client: Your network product appears to be a shoe box full of twigs and leaves. Sales engineer: Hoho! Just wist util my engineer does his magic and integrates it with your network! Make it look like another vendor's fault.

Tina Isn't An Engineer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Isn't An Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineer, #evaluation, #value, #catch-22, #fired, #termination, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The company makes me rank all of my employees. I put you last because you're not an engineer. I have to fire whoever is ranked lowest, and I can't afford to lose any engineers. Tina; What if I work harder, and do a great job? Boss: Then I'd fire you for not being a team player.