Anti Lock Comic Strips
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Dogbert sits on a pillow listening to the radio. Dilbert says, "Dogbert, come look at our new car!" They stand next to an automobile. Dilbert says, "It has all of the most important safety features." Dilbert continues, "You got your anti-lock brakes, your reinforced bumpers, your automatic seatbelts and your driver-side air bag." Dogbert says, "I didn't hear 'passenger side air bag' in that list." Dilbert says, "It turns out that it's only economical to save the person who makes the buying decision." Dilbert says, "But I got a baby seat in case you want to use that." Dogbert says angrily, "Well, thank you for letting me choose between humiliation and death. I've got a better idea." Dogbert drives the car and Dilbert sits in the passenger seat. Dilbert says, "Ooh . . . Just wait until MY turn." Dogbert says, "Watch me ram that car."
dilbert: anti-gun advocates are complaining because we bought a start-up that makes us drones with machine guns. boss: our best bet is to lure them into some sort of outdoor protest event and... dilbert yelling: bad idea. very bad! boss: don't be judgmental during the brainstorming.
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I've decided to join the anti-fur movement." Dilbert asks, "Isn't that hypocritical? You wear a fur coat every day." Dogbert replies, "Oh . . . Yeah, never mind . . ." Dogbert thinks, "Wait . . ."
Dogbert says, "Please, Mister Garbage Man, help us fix Dilbert's cloning device and bring him back to life!!" The garbage man looks at the device and says, "This shouldn't be too hard . . . Standard anti-light resonance filters . . . Yeah, I think I have parts in the truck." Dogbert asks, "You're going to clone him from his own garbage?" The garbage man replies, "Don't tell anybody - there might be a stigma."
Dilbert stands in front of the mirror tying his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed watching him. Dilbert says, "I joined the 'Scientist Anti-Defamation League.'" Dogbert asks, "What's that?" Dilbert replies, "They fight against the negative stereotypes of technical people that are often portrayed in the media." Dilbert's tie is wrapped around his body, arms and head. Dilbert says, "You broke my concentration."
A man stands at a podium and says into the microphone, "Welcome to the 'Scientist Anti-Defamation League' weekly meeting." The man continues, "Tonight's topic is the stereotype that we scientists have no social lives . . . But first . . ." The man asks, "Is Saturday night okay for our next meeting?" Someone says, "I'm free." Another person says, "No problem." Another person says, "Wide open."
Dilbert sits on the wall and says to Dogbert, "My anti-gravity formula is the greatest discovery of this century!!" Dilbert looks down at Dogbert and says, "Just think of the benefits to society!!" Dogbert says, "You mean, after you float away?"
Dilbert floats through the house with a propeller strapped to his back. He says into the phone, "CBS News? Yes, I'd like to call a press conference to announce my anti-gravity discovery . . ." Dilbert says into the telephone, "Science isn't news?! But you did that investigative report on suntan lotion last year . . ." Dilbert says, "No, I don't think I could do the interview in a string bikini."
Dilbert floats in mid-air with a propeller attached to his back. He says into the phone, "Hello, ABC News? I've discovered an anti-gravity formula." Dilbert continues, "What?! It's not newsworthy?!" Dogbert says, "Tell him it lets you lose weight without exercising." Dilbert covers the telephone receiver and asks, "Isn't that misleading and unethical?" Dogbert replies, "There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft."