Search Results for "apologize"
Share February 26, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert says to a coworker, "Is this number accurate? It seems low." The coworker responds, "Why are you attacking me? Stop attacking me!" Dilbert says, "I think the number is too low." The coworker replies, "It's too late to apologize. Now I hate your guts."
Share January 28, 2005's comic on:
Carol: "Hey, I got a response from the newspaper columnist I reamed for misusing the word "dongle."" ""Dear Nutbag... Link to a dictionary..." Um... Oops... It appears that I was wrong." "Now do you apologize?" "Plan B: I accuse him of hating minorities."
Share May 21, 2000's comic on:
The Boss asks Dilbert, "Can you explain why your project is behind schedule?" Dilbert answers, "Yes. A schedule is an artificial device created without knowledge of the future." Dilbert goes on to say, "Wild guesses are used as surrogates for knowledge." Dilbert says to the Boss, "Project deadlines ae tied to trade show dates instead of reality." Dilbert continues his explanation, "Then management cuts the budget until failure is assured." Dilbert says to the Boss, "I assume you called me here so you can apologize for your role in all this." The Boss sits in his chair looking puzzled and amazed. Dilbert then asks the Boss, "Would you like to hear how budgets are created?"
Share November 23, 2008's comic on:
The boss: Let's figure out a timeline for development. Dilbert: Ted is the only one who knows anything about that. And he's on vacation. The boss: Let's see how far we can get without Ted. Alice: You mean without knowledge or insight? The boss: We can make reasonable assumptions. Dilbert: Or we could wait for Ted to come back tomorrow and ask him.. The boss: I called this meeting and it's not a meeting until someone's time gets wasted! Dilbert: I apologize for my efficiency. The boss: Apology accepted.
Share August 09, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert opens a jewelry box and asks Dogbert, "Do you like these earrings I bought for Mom's birthday?" Dogbert asks, "What kind of stones are they?" Dilbert answers, "Amethyst." Dogbert says, "Didn't they have any that believe in God?" Dilbert says, "I don't get it." Dogbert walks away saying, "Puns! Never apologize, never explain."
Share January 19, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert stands in front of a exhibit and says to the man and woman behind him, "This authentic chunk of the Berlin wall is the latest acquisition of my museum." The woman says, "Hey! You must think we're a couple of hillbillies. We saw a hole in your sidewalk in that exact shape." Dogbert says, "Obviously we had to trade a chunk of our sidewalk to Berlin so we could get this." The man says to the woman, "Apologize to the dog, Flossie."
Share May 30, 1994's comic on:
Dogbert: I recently received this angry letter from a mister 'Dork'. Mr. Dork informs me that the many people surnamed Dork are not amused that I once used the word "Dorkage" He demands an apology. I apologize to all the dorks who were offended. I hope we can put this behind us.
Share October 15, 1997's comic on:
On television, Dogbert speaks in a paid commercial about his mutual fund. Dogbert says, "Studies have shown that monkeys can pick stocks better than most professionals." The Boss watches the tv commercial. Dogbert says, "That's why the Dogbert mutual fund employs only monkeys." Dogbert sits at a desk surrounded by monkeys. Dogbert says, "Yes, our fees are high, but I don't apologize for hiring the best."
Share January 30, 1999's comic on:
The boss says, to Alice, "Alice, we lost our biggest customer because you missed the R.F.Q. deadline." Alice says, "That's because YOU said all overnight mail must go through your evil and lazy secretary." Alice says, "So you're probably going to apologize and give me a bonus for my effort." the boss says, "What's your second guess?"
Share March 02, 2010's comic on:
The Boss says, "Are you having any problems taking over Victor's project?" Dilbert says, "Nope. Smooth sailing so far." Asok says, "Smooth??? It gave me a goat head!!!" Dilbert says, "He asked if I had any problems. Wait for your turn, Asok." Asok says, "Sorry."