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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2005's comic on:


Tags #web service satndards, #consortium, #approval review, #executive board, #review borad

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"We should join the industry consortium that's promoting web services standards." "Run that past the consortium approval review board and get a sign-off from the executive board of review board reviewers." "Do those exist?" "In a perfect world, yes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 2011's comic on:


Tags #review document, #comments, #research, #postpone, #plan a, #science

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Boss: I'll review your document and give you my comments this afternoon. Dilbert: No you won't. You'll read one paragraph then tell me to go research something so you can postpone dealing with it. Boss: They know about Plan "A."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2011's comic on:


Tags #approval from cloud, #matrix management, #office workers, #smoke cloud

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Boss: You'll need approval from the cloud. Dilbert: The cloud? Boss: It was once called Matrix Management. But it go so complicated that no one knows who does what. Dilbert: Can you approve this? Man: What did everyone else say?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #van, #drove, #away, #review, #job, #description, #adress, #quit, #thief

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Dilbert arrives at home and sees Dogbert sitting on the floor in an empty room. Dilbert asks, "Dogbert, where's all of our furniture?!!" Dogbert replies, "Your new cleaning person loaded it into his van and drove away . . . Oh, and he said to tell you he quit." Dilbert says, "I think we need to review your job description as watchdog." Dogbert points to the wall and says, "I got his address." The cleaning person wrote on the wall "Send my check to," followed by his address.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #annual, #review, #accomplishment, #invention, #automatic, #dentures, #long, #pause, #asleep

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Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror tying his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed watching. Dilbert says, "My boss is giving me my annual review today." Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss reads and document and says, "Your biggest accomplishment was the invention of automatic dentures?" Dilbert replies, "They can eat while you're asleep." Dilbert thinks, "This long pause could mean anything."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #tim, #writer, #famous, #memo, #february, #boss, #performance, #review, #copy, #typo

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A man says to Dilbert and Wally, "Hi, I'm Tim Zumph, writer of the famous memo of February third, 1978 . . ." Tim continues, "I remember it so clearly. My boss walked right up and said 'Nice memo, Tim.' And it wasn't even time for my annual performance review." Tim shows them a document and says, "I still keep a copy with me." Wally points at the memo and says, "Typo . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 1994's comic on:


Tags #buy put options, #engineers order, #management approval, #stock, #dogcart the consultant

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The Boss, Dogbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "I recommend letting the engineers order their own supplies without management approval." Wally yells, "Yes!!! I'm rich!! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!" Dogbert continues, "And I recommend buying 'Put' options in your stock." Wally stands and says, "Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 1995's comic on:


Tags #performance review, #years of rejection, #general disdain, #simian, #perfromance

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Alice tells Wally and Dilbert, "I'm terrified about my performance review tomorrow." Alice continues, "Men have it easier. You've been conditioned by years of rejection and general disdain." Wally responds, "We're lucky that way." The Boss sits at his desk and reads a document to a male worker sitting across from him. The Boss says, "Overall, I rated your performance as 'simian.'" The worker responds, "Thanks!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 1995's comic on:


Tags #marketings approval, #flex power, #useless data, #major stallion, #wife address

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Dilbert stands in front of a the Vice President of Marketing's desk. The VP reads a document and says, "I could give you marketing's approval right now . . ." The VP continues, "Or I could flex my vice presidential power and send you to gather more useless data . . . My ego would expand and I'd be a major stallion with my wife tonight." The VP asks Dilbert, "Do you think you can top that?" Dilbert replies, "Ill try, sir. What's your wife's address?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 1995's comic on:


Tags #need approval, #business case, #wedge, #claim, #feel prodcutive, #when doomed

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Dilbert approaches an office door with paper spilling out of it. Dilbert says to Tom who is trapped in the stack of paper, "I need your approval on my business case, Tom." As he inserts his document into the stack, Dilbert says, "I'll wedge it in here so you can claim you never saw it when I ask about it next week." From underneath the pile Tom says, "Thanks." Dilbert walks away humming and thinking, "The weird part is that I can feel productive even when I'm doomed."