Are Years Ago Comic Strips
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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "I found or five-year plan from five years ago." The Boss continues, "The last page says, "At the end of the fifth year, the entire management team will be..." The Boss continues to read, "... investigated for accounting irregularities." Wally looks at the secret service agent who has just entered and says, "Spooky."
Headline: A Few Years Ago. Catbert says, "The company will no longer provide free soft drinks." Headline: This Year. Catberrt says, "No more free coffee, and no more free bottled water." Headline: In the Future. Catbert is in a space suit. He says, "Don't swallow your saliva."
Boss: This is Barry. He has been working on our exoskeleton project for five years. Dilbert: Evidently Barry died years ago, and his exoskeleton keeps taking his bones to meetings. Boss: In my defense, that is only obvious after you say it.
The Boss: we found awn offensive tweet you sent seven years ago. Dilbert: Its only offensive if you have poor reading comprehension and no sense of humor. The boss: I find it offensive. Dilbert: I think we're on the same page here/
The Boss says to Wally, "Wally, your status report is just a bunch of buzzwords strung together." Wally replies, "I've been giving you that same status report every week for eleven years." Wally continues, "Five years ago you adopted it as our mission statement."
The Boss turns to an employee and asks, "Who are you?" The employee responds, "I'm Allen. I've been telecommuting for four years." The Boss says, "Allen? I fired you four years ago. Didn't you get my e-mail?" Allen and Dilbert are walking. Allen says to Dilbert, "This is exactly why I stopped coming to the office."
dilbert: i wrote a software patch that will save three million dollars per year. i feel as if i deserve a bonus or a raise. boss: when did you do it? dilbert: this week. boss: how long did we have the problem? dilbert: five years. boss: then you should have fixed it five years ago. looks like a gigantic failure to me. you should be ashamed of yourself. in another room catbert: did you try my strategy for keeping payroll expenses low? boss: works like magic.
Dilbert: If you won the lottery, would you quit working? Wally: I quit working years ago, but I might start gloating if it isn't too hard. Dilbert: Gloating doesn't sound hard. Wally: Can I do it without moving any facial muscles? I have weak eyebrows.
The caption says, "How to be boring: 'Great Things I Have Eaten' series." Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, "But by far, the best baked potato I've ever eaten was six years ago . . ." The caption says, "The victim may try sarcasm to relieve the boredom." Dogbert says, "Fascinating, now could you think out loud all of the possible dates this may have occurred?" The caption says, "Sarcasm won't work." Dilbert says, "Well, it could have been on October 6th . . . Or maybe the 16th. Was that a Tuesday?"
Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a stone wall looking at the stars. Dogbert says, "No matter how bad the day is, the stars are always there." Dilbert says, "Actually, many of them burned out years ago, but their light is just now reaching earth." Dogbert says, "Thank you for shattering my comfortable misconception." Dilbert says, "It's the miracle of science."