Armchair Comic Strips
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Dogbert covers his eyes with his paws and says, "I'm so embarrassed . . . I dreamed I died and saw the light of God . . ." Dogbert says to Dilbert who is wearing a bathrobe and holding a flashlight, "I trust you will just let this incident pass without comment." Dilbert says, "I command you to build an ark . . ." Dogbert growls.
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table. Dilbert asks, "Well? What do you think of my book so far?" Dogbert looks at the manuscript and says, "It reminds me of 'Moby Dick.'" Dilbert asks, "Because of my creative metaphors and strong imagery?" Dogbert responds, "No, it just seems to me that a big whale wouldn't smell too good, either."
Bob the Dinosaur stands next to Dogbert's desk. Dogbert says, "I'm writing to President Bush's dog." Bob says, "You don't mean . . ." Dogbert responds, "Millie, their Springer Spaniel." Dogbert looks at Bob and asks, "Who did you think I meant?"
Dilbert arrives at home wearing a backpack. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "We have completed our obligation to take a vacation." Dogbert walks in the door and says, "As usual, we hated every minute of it." Dilbert sits in a chair and Dogbert sits on his leg. Dilbert asks, "Why do we do it every year?" Dogbert replies, "My theory is that you're stupid."
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I've decided to open a vocational training school." Dilbert asks, "For whom?" Dogbert replies, "Self-service gas station attendants." Dilbert asks, "You mean, students will pay you to teach them how to sit and do nothing?" Dogbert replies, "It makes you wonder why nobody is already doing it."
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert says, "I've always wondered why your tie curls up like that." Dogbert continues, "My theory is that the tie is simply showing a natural aversion to being near you." Dogbert continues, "Have you noticed any of your other clothes trying to flee?" Dilbert responds, "I'm missing a sock . . ."
Dilbert sits on the couch holding a thread and needle. Dogbert says, "I didn't know you could sew." Dilbert says, "I watched my mother do it when I was a kid. She taught me everything." Dilbert's arm and legs are stiched to the couch. Dilbert says, "We often found Mom sewed to the sofa."
Ratbert stands on the table holding his arms out. Ratbert asks Bob the Dinosaur, "Dilbert says it's impossible to fly by flapping your arms. Is he right, Bob?" Bob replies, "It just depends how hard you flap." Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper. Ratbert flies over him and says, "It must be embarrassing to be you."
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I think you've taken your cult idea too far." Dogbert sits in a chair with a crown on his head. Dogbert asks, "Who says it's a cult?" Dilbert replies, "YOU said it's a cult!" Dogbert says, "That word has a bad connotation." Dogbert says, "I prefer to think of it as a bunch of morons who have nothing better to do with their lives."