Arrested Dilbert Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Arrested Dilbert

View 1 - 10 results for arrested dilbert comic strips. Discover the best "Arrested Dilbert" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apathy, #civil liberties, #surveillance, #arrested dilbert, #stealing data, #spy software, #givernement

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: The government arrested Dilbert for stealing back the data their spy software stole from us. Alice: Whose side are we on? Wally: Well, I'm not crazy about the government. Alice: But Dilbert can be a pain in the Spanx, too. Wally: Have you ever tried apathy? It's awesome.

Dilbert Characters

Dilbert Has Free Will

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Has Free Will - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #free will, #crime, #invention, #murder, #control, #self control, #guilt, #innocence

View Transcript

Transcript

Police Officer: Halt! You are under arrest for killing Ted in a cafeteria fight. Dilbert: I am innocent. My brain stimulator had a software glitch that made me do it. Police Officer: But you had free will, right? Dilbert: Do I have to believe in magic just to get arrested?

Dilbert Offers To Help

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Offers To Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #help, #project, #sucker, #woman employee

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our pointy-haired boss asked me to help you on your project. Woman Employee: Yes!! My dream of getting paid while other people do my work is becoming a reality! Dilbert: I might have played this wrong. Woman employee: Sucker!

How Dilbert Can Help

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How Dilbert Can Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #project, #criticism, #option, #boss, #worthless

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: How can I help you on your project? Woman Employee: I'll send you my files and you can do all of my work while I criticize you behind your back. Dilbert: Is there another option? Woman Employee: Yes, it' involves telling your boss you're worthless.

Dilbert Uses Bumper Sticker Wisdom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Uses Bumper Sticker Wisdom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #permission, #bumper stickers, #forgive

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Dilbert, did you reconfigure the server without my permission? Dilbert: Let me consult my collection of bumper stickers for an answer. "It is easier to ask forgiveness than permission." The Boss: Okay, that sounds right.

Dilbert Consults His Bumper Stickers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Consults His Bumper Stickers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #Dilbert, #government regulations, #marketing, #question authority

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Government regulations prevent us from marketing our products the way we want. What should we do? Dilbert: I'll consult my bundle of bumper stickers for some guidance. "Question authority." CEO: How did you get so smart?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #embarrassment, #frustration, #like an idiot, #simple solution, #stumping dilbert, #gladly explin, #look like an idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "There is a very simple solution to the problem that is stumping Dilbert." Man says, "I will gladly explain it to him after this meeting." Dilbert says, "You're probably wrong, and yet you still made me look like an idiot." Man says, "I win!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #Dilbert, #twitter, #world has judged, #dont exist, #ghost, #blocking tv, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: How many Twitter followers do you have? Dilbert: None. Woman: The world has judged you. Dilbert: It's as if I don't exist! Dogbert: For a ghost, you do a good job of blocking the TV.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #astronomy, #billions of planets, #scientists, #version of dilbert, #earth like, #many universes

View Transcript

Transcript

Computer: Scientists say there might be billions of planets like Earth. And we might be one of many universes. Dilbert: I wonder if there's a version of me out there who loves his job. Woman: What has three thumbs and wants a should massage? Dilbert: This guy! Meanwhile, on XPKQ-75

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #dinosaurs, #mesozioc era, #thesaurus, #joke

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Bob the Dinosaur and Dawn the Dinosaur, ". . . So Dawn here is a Nobodysaurus, and Bob, you say you're a Thesaurus?" Bob replies, "Ha ha! No, the 'Thesaurus' line is just an old dinosaur joke." Dawn covers her eyes and giggles. Dilbert says, "I'll bet you were a riot in the Mesozoic era." Dawn says, "Eat him, Bob."