Art Of Full Body Lying Comic Strips

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568 Results for Art Of Full Body Lying

View 1 - 10 results for art of full body lying comic strips. Discover the best "Art Of Full Body Lying" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anger, #envy, #big promotion, #congratulations, #not jealous, #good work, #art of full body lying

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Ted: Hey, Alice! Did you hear about my big promotion? Alice: Congratulations, Ted. I'm not jealous at all. Keep up the good work. Sorry about my face. I haven't mastered the art of full-body lying.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #bank, #ethel, #credit, #banks, #interest rate, #filming, #television, #ads, #Dogbert, #attitude

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Dilbert stands in front of a customer service desk at a bank. Dilbert says, "I'd like to apply for a 'Bank of Ethel' credit card." The woman behind the desk says, "Sit down and shut up." The woman says, "It's 21% interest plus surprisingly high annual fees. We'll do a credit check and a full body cavity search." Back at home, Dilbert stands in front of Dogbert wearing just his boxers. Dilbert says, ". . . And I had to smile the whole time because they were filming it for their television ads." Dogbert says, "You have to admire their attitude."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2010's comic on:


Tags #new vice president of engineering, #meeting, #introduce, #full body, #face front, #pointy hair, #lack of experience, #exotic, #over selling, #mustache, #business

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The Boss says, "Meet our new vice president of engineering." The Boss says, "We're lucky to have him despite his utter lack of experience in our industry." The Boss says, "Some might call him unqualified, but I call him exotic." Vice President says, "You're over-selling."

Airport Scanners

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Airport Scanners - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 2016's comic on:


Tags #video, #security camera, #tsa, #air travel

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CEO: I heard you appeared naked on Elbonian television. Dilbert: I did? CEO: The only television show in Elbonia is a live feed from their airport full-body scanners. Dilbert: That can't be true. CEO: One of our subsidiaries built the system. Here's you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2005's comic on:


Tags #open art gallery, #full bar, #putrid art, #specialize, #synergy

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Dogbert: I plan to open an art gallery with a full bar. "I'll specialize in putrid art that's unreasonably priced." "Synergy" "Thash so bee-oo-tiful!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 2013's comic on:


Tags #interviews, #lying, #job interview, #exaggerate credntials, #more effective, #business skill, #misleading, #convince customers, #prodcuts, #dupe some idiot, #learn tech skills, #honesty, #hr, #send offer, #liar

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Dilbert: You look good on paper, but how do I know you aren't lying about your skills? Interviewee: You should hope I am lying. Studies show that people who exaggerate their credentials tend to be more effective once hired. That's because misleading people is a valuable business skill. For example, I might need to convince our customers that our products are better than the competition. Or I might need to dupe some idiot into leaving my cubicle so I can concentrate. Anyone can learn technical skills, but lying is an art form. Dilbert: He doesn't have an honest bone in his body. Boss: Perfect. I'll tell Human Resources to send him an offer.

Dilbert Is Wearing A Body Cam

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Dilbert Is Wearing A Body Cam - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2017's comic on:


Tags #lying, #body cam, #surveillance

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Boss: Don't give that data to Marketing yet. Dilbert: That is the direct opposite of what you told me yesterday. Boss: I am totally sure I never said anything like that yesterday. You weren't wearing a wire, were you? Dilbert: It's called an employee body cam. Narrator: Continued...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2012's comic on:


Tags #bluetooth, #bluetooth headset, #cyborg, #doctors, #ear, #full human, #happiness, #intraocular lenses, #inventions, #pill form, #powered by chemistry, #streaming video, #surgically enbed, #vision correction, #dentits, #special surgery, #psychology

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Dilbert: I know I'd be happier as a cyborg than a full human. I want you to surgically embed a bluetooth headset in my ear, powered by my own body chemistry. And I'd like intra-ocular lenses with vision correction and streaming video over bluetooth. Doctor: Happiness only comes in pill form.

Asok's Body Double

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Asok's Body Double - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #arrest, #hit man, #mistaken identity, #body double, #doppelganger

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Alice: I thought you got arrested for killing the creator of Garfield's body double. Asok: Almost. They arrested my body double. Alice: Why do you have a body double? Asok: It's for situations like this.

Dilbert's History Of Lying

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Dilbert's History Of Lying - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 2017's comic on:


Tags #accusation, #innocence, #guilt, #lying, #deception

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Boss: I can't give you a raise because of your history of lying about everything. Dilbert: I don't lie. I have a history of being falsely accused. Boss: I'll add that lie to your list. Dilbert: I don't see a path to victory here.