The Boss says, "Alice, I need this ASAP." Alice asks, "ASAP? Does that stand for A Stupid-Acting Person, i.e., someone who ignores tasks until the deadline?" The Boss walks away thinking, "That was embarrassing. I hope the other things I say don't mean anything."
The moron in messy suit stands in Dilbert's cubicle. The moron says, "Then we need tp PV the DCF and get the ROI to the EOC ASAP." Dilbert says, "Are you our new CFO or a babbling idiot who just happened to wander by?" The moron says, "Which one pays more?" Dilbert thinks, "The mystery deepens."
Dilbert: do you have market demand numbers?
Ted: Im in the middle of something. can I get back yo you later?
Dilbert: How much later?
Ted: when do you need it?
Dilbert: As soon as possible.
Ted: I'll do it as soon as Im done.
Dilbert: when will that be?
Ted: as soon as possible.
Dilbert: when will it be possible?
Ted: cut name some slack.
Dilbert: how much slack do you need?