Ask Ed Comic Strips
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Alice: You should ask Ed about this. Carol: Is Ed the dumb guy who talks too much or the liar with the bad breath? Alice: He's the braggart with large pores and a combover. Dilbert: Wow. How do you describe me behind my back? Carol: You're the insecure guy who steers the conversation to himself.
The Boss brings a new employee to introduce to Dilbert. The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to meet incredulous Ed." The Boss continues, "No matter what question you ask him, he'll act as if you are inventing words." Dilbert turns to Ed and asks, "Do you have a family?" Ed replies, "Do I have a WHAT??"
Boss: Did you ask the lab if they have a way to test traffic loads on our prototype? Dilbert: I met with them for an hour and explained that we need traffic load tests. Boss: But you didn't actually ask if they could do the tests? Dilbert: Well... no... but... it's their job to do the tests. And they would have mentioned it if they didn't have a way to do it. Boss: But you didn't ask. Dilbert: That was the context of the meeting. If they couldn't do that sort of test they would have mentioned it sometime during our hour together. Boss: Maybe you should ask. Dilbert: Gaa!! Okay! I'll ask! Are you freakin' kidding me?!! Man: I wondered why you didn't ask.
Boss: Dilbert, listen carefully. I need you to... vendor... hardware... immediately. Dilbert: What? We have a bad connection. Boss: Field... the... grep... pony... budget. Dilbert: What? What? Boss: I have another call. Just ask Alice. Alice: How would I know what he wants? Leave me alone. Dilbert: I wonder how winners feel. Wally: I don't know. They never let me touch them.
Dilbert answers the door and says, "Hello . . . Wait, aren't you . . .?" The person at the door answers, "Ed McMahon." Ed McMahon asks, "Do you remember that sweepstakes entry you mailed?" Dilbert replies excitedly, "Yes yes!!" Ed McMahon hands Dilbert a letter and says, "You forgot to put a stamp on it."
Dilbert: I'd fix it myself but I know it takes special tools... Plus I would just have to order a part... And I'm pretty busy... Ed: Take two of these... Dilbert: "Engineer's pills?" Ed: They'll knock you out until I'm gone.
Dilbert stands in front of the mailbox reading a letter. Dilbert says, "Oh, carp!" Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I've been called for jury duty." Dogbert says, "Me, too." Dilbert says, "Dogs can't do jury duty. How did they get your name?" Dogbert replies, "I've been betrayed by Ed McMahon."
Wally says to Dilbert, "Look out! Big Ed is hulking backwards waving his arms again!" Big Ed bumps into Wally and Dilbert and they spill their coffee on themselves. Wally and Dilbert lie on the floor with their legs in the air. Dilbert says, "Big people can be so annoying." Wally replies, "I just wish he wouldn't refer to us as debris."
Phil the Ruler of Heck points his spear at Dilbert. Dilbert says, "It's 'Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light!'" Phil says, "I saw you take that chair." Phil shouts, "I summon all the demons and trolls of Heck to come forth and punish you now!!!" A man enters and says, "I'm Ed, from accounting. The others are at lunch."
Wally: "I say it's easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission." TED : "I say it's better to seek permission, thus delaying your personal risk until it all becomes moot in the next reorganization." Wally: "That makes mine sound kinda stupid." TED: "Get over it."