Asoks Health Comic Strips
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229 Results for Asoks Health
View 1 - 10 results for asoks health comic strips. Discover the best "Asoks Health" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday February 12,
2018
Worried About Dilbert's Mental Health
Tags #asoks health, #boss worried, #brilliant ideas, #misunderstand, #too dumb, #dilbert's mental health, #called into question
Transcript
The Boss: Im worried about DIlberts mental health because his ideas are so bad. Asok: How did you rule out the hypothesis that his ideas are brilliant but you're too dumb to understand them? The Boss: Now Im worried about Asok's mental health too.
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Saturday June 13,
2015
Health Sensor Predictes Death
Tags #invention, #success, #technology, #health monitor, #fitbit, #smart watch, #heart, #heart rate, #death, #medical
Transcript
Ted: The health sensors you built into our smart watch prototype aren't working. According to your stupid sensors, my heart is going to stop beating in... Dilbert: Yay me!
Thursday August 27,
2015
Nano Robots Are The New Health Plan
Tags #technology, #robots, #invention, #health, #big business, #corporation, #nanobot
Transcript
CEO: We're replacing the employee health plan with nanorobot technology. We'll insert tiny medical robots into their lower digestive tracts to keep them healthy forever. Boss: So, our plan is to shove robots up... CEO: Only until the robots can replace them.
Monday December 07,
2015
Dna Kit Predicts Health Issues
Tags #technology, #future, #death, #prediction, #health, #reaction, #medical
Transcript
Dilbert: I combined a DNA test kit with big data to predict a person's future health issues. That depressing knowledge caused every member of the test group to make risky lifestyle choices. Now half of them are dead. At the risk of bragging, that's exactly what my model predicted.
Tuesday November 14,
2017
Watch That Monitors Health
Tags #health, #wearable tech, #fitbit, #fitness, #monitor, #surveillance
Transcript
Boss: Our new product is a watch that monitors every aspect of your health. Wearing the watch is mandatory for all employees. Your data will automatically stream to our cloud storage. Voice: Because you care about our health? Boss: Sure. We'll go with that.
Monday February 18,
2019
Health Problems
Tags #age, #complaining, #health, #office, #office workers
Transcript
Alice: Do me a favor and never put me on a project with people over the age of forty. They waste the first fifteen minutes of every meeting talking about their health problems. Boss: Did you say something? I can't hear you over my tinnitus.
Friday March 13,
2020
Personal Health Data
Tags #business, #laptop, #private, #data, #cloud, #asthma, #personal, #health, #edit, #disease
Transcript
dogbert at laptop: according to your private data in the cloud, you have a mild case of asthma. dilbert: you can see my personal health data? dogbert: see it? hahaha! i can do more than that! dilbert: what is more than that? dogbert: i can edit it. you have six new diseases now.
Monday May 09,
2011
Tags #annoyance, #death & dying, #health insurance, #advance health care, #directive, #kill me directive
Transcript
Dogbert: Here's the first draft of an advance health care directive I wrote for you. Dilbert: "Kill me if I have a headache. Kill me if I'm itchy. Kill me if I complain too much." I might have some edits. Dogbert: There's your complaining again!
Wednesday May 18,
2011
Tags #happiness, #ignorance (knowledge), #idiot, #health benefits, #social stigma, #healthy, #transition, #psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm considering becoming an idiot so I can get the health benefits of happiness. It comes with a social stigma, but that's not a problem if I'm not aware that I'm an idiot. I feel healthy today, so there's a good chance I already made the transition. Dogbert: Yep.
Thursday December 29,
2011
Tags #conversation, #employees, #executives, #on line class, #develop charisma, #change the world, #die from stree, #health issues, #business
Transcript
Boss: I'm taking an online class to develop my charisma. Dilbert: Let's see a sample. Boss: Do what I say and you can change the world while you die from stress-related health issues! That felt right. Dilbert: You nailed it.