Asoks Health Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

229 Results for Asoks Health

View 1 - 10 results for asoks health comic strips. Discover the best "Asoks Health" comics from Dilbert.com.

Worried About Dilbert's Mental Health

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Worried About Dilbert's Mental Health - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #asoks health, #boss worried, #brilliant ideas, #misunderstand, #too dumb, #dilbert's mental health, #called into question

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Im worried about DIlberts mental health because his ideas are so bad. Asok: How did you rule out the hypothesis that his ideas are brilliant but you're too dumb to understand them? The Boss: Now Im worried about Asok's mental health too.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Health Sensor Predictes Death

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Health Sensor Predictes Death - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invention, #success, #technology, #health monitor, #fitbit, #smart watch, #heart, #heart rate, #death, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: The health sensors you built into our smart watch prototype aren't working. According to your stupid sensors, my heart is going to stop beating in... Dilbert: Yay me!

Nano Robots Are The New Health Plan

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Nano Robots Are The New Health Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #robots, #invention, #health, #big business, #corporation, #nanobot

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We're replacing the employee health plan with nanorobot technology. We'll insert tiny medical robots into their lower digestive tracts to keep them healthy forever. Boss: So, our plan is to shove robots up... CEO: Only until the robots can replace them.

Dna Kit Predicts Health Issues

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dna Kit Predicts Health Issues - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #future, #death, #prediction, #health, #reaction, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I combined a DNA test kit with big data to predict a person's future health issues. That depressing knowledge caused every member of the test group to make risky lifestyle choices. Now half of them are dead. At the risk of bragging, that's exactly what my model predicted.

Watch That Monitors Health

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Watch That Monitors Health - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #health, #wearable tech, #fitbit, #fitness, #monitor, #surveillance

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our new product is a watch that monitors every aspect of your health. Wearing the watch is mandatory for all employees. Your data will automatically stream to our cloud storage. Voice: Because you care about our health? Boss: Sure. We'll go with that.

Health Problems

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Health Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #age, #complaining, #health, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Do me a favor and never put me on a project with people over the age of forty. They waste the first fifteen minutes of every meeting talking about their health problems. Boss: Did you say something? I can't hear you over my tinnitus.

Personal Health Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Personal Health Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #laptop, #private, #data, #cloud, #asthma, #personal, #health, #edit, #disease

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert at laptop: according to your private data in the cloud, you have a mild case of asthma. dilbert: you can see my personal health data? dogbert: see it? hahaha! i can do more than that! dilbert: what is more than that? dogbert: i can edit it. you have six new diseases now.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #death & dying, #health insurance, #advance health care, #directive, #kill me directive

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Here's the first draft of an advance health care directive I wrote for you. Dilbert: "Kill me if I have a headache. Kill me if I'm itchy. Kill me if I complain too much." I might have some edits. Dogbert: There's your complaining again!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #happiness, #ignorance (knowledge), #idiot, #health benefits, #social stigma, #healthy, #transition, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm considering becoming an idiot so I can get the health benefits of happiness. It comes with a social stigma, but that's not a problem if I'm not aware that I'm an idiot. I feel healthy today, so there's a good chance I already made the transition. Dogbert: Yep.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #employees, #executives, #on line class, #develop charisma, #change the world, #die from stree, #health issues, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm taking an online class to develop my charisma. Dilbert: Let's see a sample. Boss: Do what I say and you can change the world while you die from stress-related health issues! That felt right. Dilbert: You nailed it.