Assumption Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

18 Results for Assumption

View 1 - 10 results for assumption comic strips. Discover the best "Assumption" comics from Dilbert.com.

Common Sense

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Common Sense - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #common sense, #request, #specifications, #assumption, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: this isn't what i wanted. dilbert: it is, unless you gave me the wrong specs. boss: i assume you would use your common sense to know what i wanted. dilbert: did you common sense help you make that assumption?

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #profitability, #year 3, #key revenue, #comet strike oil, #crashes through wall, #abstractions, #presentation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "As requested, I wrote the business plan to show profitability by year three." Dilbert: "The key revenue assumption is that an armored car crashes through that wall and spills its contents." "And don't stand where the comet is assumed to strike oil."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dont worry, #high crime area, #experts assure you, #gange members, #exhautsed, #beat up

View Transcript

Transcript

CAtbert: Don't worry that the company is moving to a high-crime area. "My experts assure me that you'll have a 90% chance of survival every time you walk outside." "That estimate depends on the assumption that the gang members become exhausted from beating you up."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failure estimate, #hallucinate, #assumption, #make up, #understanding

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Can you get me some failure estimates for our next gen product?" Dilbert says, "I can if you like numbers that are based on hallucinated assumptions." The Boss says, "I kind of do." Dilbert says, "I think we have an understanding."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assumption, #business ethics, #buy prodcuts, #corporate strategy, #corporation, #customer centric, #etiquette & ethics, #evil, #executives, #ideas, #marketing campaign, #monopoly, #needs, #needs of customers, #psychological manipulation

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I welcome any input on our corporate strategy. Dilbert: I think we need to be more customer-centric. CEO: You mean raise our prices? Dilbert: I mean focus on the needs of our customers. CEO: You mean we should be a monopoly so they need us? Dilbert: Um, no. We should find out what they need and then give it to them. CEO: They need to buy our products. Dilbert: They probably don't. CEO: So you're saying our marketing campaign should use psychological manipulation to make people think they need our products. You finally had a good idea. Dilbert: I'm going to stop talking now.

Boss Asks Alice To Mentor At School

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Asks Alice To Mentor At School - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gender, #misogyny, #Women, #feminist, #mentor, #tutor, #assumption, #feminism

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: My kid's school is looking for someone to mentor girls interested in stem careers. Alice: Are you asking me to do that because I'm a woman? Would you ask a man to do that? Boss: This went bad fast. Alice: Tell Wally to do it. He's not busy.

Asok Is Not A Terrorist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Is Not A Terrorist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #muslim, #islam, #terrorist, #terrorism, #assume, #assumption, #appearances, #racism, #racist, #bigot

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are you a terrorist? Asok: Why does everyone keep asking me that? Boss: You look like one. Asok: Well, I'm not, you racist. Boss: Is it more of a sympathizer situation? Asok: Stop radicalizing me!

Carol And The Terrorist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Carol And The Terrorist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #terrorist, #terrorism, #racist, #race, #muslim, #assume, #assumption, #accuse, #accusation

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I hear you're a terrorist sympathizer. Asok: What? No! I'm not even close. I don't want to hate you! Please stop radicalizing me! Carol: Sweating, agitated, he looks suspicious to me. Asok: Who are you talking to???!

Don't Read Long Emails

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Don't Read Long Emails - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email, #tldr, #communication, #assumption, #honesty

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: You didn't answer my email. Dilbert: I don't read long email messages. Long emails are a sign of a disorganized mind. I try to avoid contact with that sort of person. Man: And yet, here I am. Dilbert: I didn't say it works every time.

Asok Agrees To Be Hit Man

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Agrees To Be Hit Man - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #social media, #twitter, #public speaking, #embarrassment, #spokesperson, #killing, #racism, #assumption, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our company spokesperson embarrassed us on social media. Does this qualify him for an "honor killing?" Asok: No, and you're a racist. Boss: Here's what he said on social media. Asok: Okay, I'm in.