Attacking Me Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

6 Results for Attacking Me

View 1 - 6 results for attacking me comic strips. Discover the best "Attacking Me" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #attacking me, #number accurate, #too late to apologize, #hate your guys

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a coworker, "Is this number accurate? It seems low." The coworker responds, "Why are you attacking me? Stop attacking me!" Dilbert says, "I think the number is too low." The coworker replies, "It's too late to apologize. Now I hate your guts."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogberts ad agency, #research, #don't use prodcut, #outdoors, #indoors, #intensive ad campaign, #outdoors for losers, #humming birds, #man in garden, #happiness of gullible people, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: Dogbert's ad agency" Dogbert stands on a table holding a pointer. Dogbert says to The Boss and Dilbert, "According to my research..." Dogbert says, "...People don't use your products when they are outdoors." Dogbert gestures to The Boss, "Somehow we must keep people indoors." Dogbert flips a page on a display notepad. Dogbert says, "I recommend an intensive ad campaign..." Dogbert continues..."Featuring this slogan..." The pad reads, 'Outdoors is for losers.' Dpgbert says to Alice, Dilbert and The Boss, "The tv spot will show humming-birds attacking a man in his garden." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: Wouldn't that destroy the happiness of gullible people?" Dogbert says, "We'll tell them it doesn't."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I heard that porpoises are smart, so I hired one." "Porpoises have been known to save humans by attacking sharks with their snouts." "He looks like our company lawyer, but more surprised."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonian, #factory, #million dollars, #competition, #office, #rebel attack

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Rebels have threatened to attack our Elbonian factory unless we give them a million dollars. The Boss: "That's outrageous! Tell them their competition offered to not attack us for half that price." Negotiations begin Elbonian: "That wouldn't even cover our costs of not attacking!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #salesman, #lying, #annoyed, #reading, #caught

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "Your order will only cost about $20,000." Dilbert says, "No it won't." Dilbert says, "We both know you're intentionally underestimating the true cost to get the sale, you lying sack of spit." Man says, "You're not supposed to say that out loud." Dilbert says, "Is it okay if I imagine a bear attacking you?"

Do Not Attack Me

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Do Not Attack Me - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conflict, #paranoia, #self-fulfilling prophesy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Are the estimates current? Coworker: Why are you attacking me? Dilbert: I feel like attacking you now. Coworker: I knew it!