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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 1995's comic on:


Tags #no surpirses, #hideous thing, #scares me, #auditor, #sound

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Dogbert introduces the Grim Reaper to the Boss. Dogbert says, "My consultant will audit your company to make sure there are no surprises before I buy it." The Boss looks shocked. Dogbert sits on the edge of the desk while the Grim Reaper looks through a stack of documents. Dogbert says to the Boss, "I use him because he's seen such hideous things that nothing scares him." The Grim Reaper looks at a document and says, "Erk." The Grim Reaper throws documents into the air and shouts, "AAAAAEEII!! OOOUWAA WAA!!" Dogbert says to the Boss, "That's not the sound you want from your auditor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 1995's comic on:


Tags #iso 900 audit, #documented job, #auditor asks, #engineer, #engineering

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The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "We're having an ISO 9000 audit this week." The Boss continues, "Take a look at your documented job descriptions and make sure that it's what you're doing if the auditor asks." Looking at his job description, Dilbert says, "According to this I'm some sort of engineer." Wally, looking at his, says, "As if we'd have time for that . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 1996's comic on:


Tags #audit, #documented procedures, #divided, #two groups, #unethical, #unprodcutive, #train department, #lie to auditor, #document, #inane prcedures

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The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We'll be having an ISO 9000 audit soon. They'll check to see if we follow our own documented procedures for everything we do." The Boss continues, "I've divided our preparation tasks into two groups: unethical and unproductive." Wally tells Dilbert, "I'll train our department to lie to the auditor. You can document our inane procedures." Dilbert replies, "No fair. You did unethical last time too!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2009's comic on:


Tags #auditor, #taxes, #inspection, #confused, #corruption

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Dogbert the CEO Man says, "I'm here to do a tax audit of your company." Dogbert says, "How's that work?" Man says, "I look for reasons to transfer money from small, disreputable entities to a larger one." Man says, "I call my salary vigorish, but it's not as ironic as it once was."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2009's comic on:


Tags #lying, #reading, #taxes, #audit, #ridiculous, #costume

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Income Tax Auditor Man says, "You claim your company is exempt from taxes because you're incorporated in?heaven?" Dogbert says, "Exactly." Man says, "I'm not allowed to question that claim because of the seperation between church and state." Wally says, "I am the angel Wally!" DOgbert says, "Hold on, Wally. We're selling past the close."