August 9, 2011 Comic Strips
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21 Results for August 9, 2011
View 1 - 10 results for august 9, 2011 comic strips. Discover the best "August 9, 2011" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday March 16,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #cheat, #death, #frisbee, #athlete, #scrabble, #allowed, #august, #bone, #boy
Transcript
The caption says, "Dogbert tries to cheat death." The Grim Reaper says to Dogbert, ". . . So, if you catch the Frisbee you can live." Dogbert says, "Wait!" Dogbert continues, "I've never been much of an athlete . . . Let's play 'Scrabble' for my life instead." Dogbert and the Grim Reaper sit at a table playing Scrabble. The Grim Reaper asks, "How much time are you allowed for your turn?" Dogbert replies as he walks away, "I'll see you in August, bone boy."
Friday July 17,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #stock market, #miserable, #fortune, #law of found money, #chance, #Win, #intuition, #guide, #color, #monitor, #gray 9
Transcript
Dilbert says to the garbage man, "I've been miserable since I made my fortune in the stock market . . ." The garbage man replies, "It's the 'Law of Found Money.' Nature won't allow us to keep money we find on the ground or win by chance. Don't resist; let your intuition guide you." Dilbert stands in a computer retail store writing a check. He asks the salesclerk, "This comes with a color monitor, right?" The salesperson stands in front of a supercomputer labeled, "Gray 9. Only $10,000,000."
Saturday November 12,
2011
Tags #boredom, #business ethics, #boost morale, #pretending to be intereted, #overkill, #unemployement, #brain, #fallout, #yawn hole
Transcript
Boss: I'm here to boost your morale by pretending to be interested in you as a human being. But it's probably overkill since unemployment is around 9% and you're not likely to quit. Dilbert: Still, it's nice to... Boss: That's enough! I don't want my brain to fall out of my yawn hole.
Friday April 27,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #sitting, #down, #chair, #Dilbert, #tired, #teased, #hair, #thinning, #television, #undetectable
Transcript
Dogbert sits on his pillow watching television. The announcer asks, "Tired of being teased because of thinning nose hair?" The announcer continues, "Get the 'Rivco Nose Toupee' for only $9.95!" Dilbert stands behind Dogbert and says, "It's totally undetectable." Dilbert has hair coming out of his nose.
Saturday November 17,
1990
Tags #dilbert's ego, #Dogbert, #numbers, #phone, #female cops, #police officers, #911
Transcript
Dogbert: Uh-oh! Dilbert's escaped ego has grown since getting that toupee. Dilbert's Ego: Ho-ho, what a night! I crashed a party for female police officers! I got phone numbers from twelve women! Dogbert: 9-1-1? Dilbert's Ego: They must be roommates.
Sunday March 31,
1996
Tags #barry, #epic mini series, #hundreds of hours, #quitters, #retrospect, #special bonus, #staring at computer
Transcript
The Boss says to Alice, Wally and Dilbert, "It's my honor to present this special bonus check to Barry." Alice turns to the man next to her and says, "That's you." The man stares straight ahead as he replies, "MY name is Barry??" The Boss says, "This is for working hundreds of hours of overtime." The Boss continues, "While you quitters were going home by 9 pm every night . . ." The Boss continues, "Barry remained at work staring at his computer for hours." Barry eats the bonus check. The Boss continues, "It's important to recognize extra effort." The Boss continues, "Sadly, that's the end of the special bonus budget for the year." Barry burps. Wally says, "In retrospect, I shouldn't have told Barry that his screen saver is an epic miniseries." Dilbert and Alice glare at him.
Wednesday December 17,
2003
Tags #obliterate connection, #my perfromance, #my rewards, #3d objects
Transcript
The merger will obliterate the connection between my performance and rewards. My arms hang like wet ropes. there is no reason to move again. Dilbert: From 9 - 930 I rotated 3 dimensional objects in my mind. My ears hang like wet ropes.
Monday July 30,
2012
Tags #business failures/bankruptcies, #stock market, #innovative pordcuts, #in pipeline, #r&d budget, #firings, #sexy startup, #work smarter, #ironic, #money
Transcript
Boss: Our stock is down 49% and we have no innovative products in the pipeline. CEO: Slash the R&D budget, fire 9,000 employees, and buy a sexy start-up company that we can run into the ground. Boss: We did all of that last year. CEO: Did I already tell the employees to work smarter? Boss: Yes. They thought you were being ironic.
Thursday March 17,
2005
Tags #conference call, #boss, #15 people, #availablity, #august 6th, #5 minutes, #so far so good
Transcript
Asok: "Hello, this is Asok the intern. I am trying to set up a conference all with you boss and 15 other people."<Br>"Could you tell me all of the times he is available in the next six months?"<Br>"Only Augus sixth between 8:35 and 8:40." "So far so good."
Monday August 15,
2005
Tags #estate plan, #fastest worker, #flashback, #lawyer, #will, #legal
Transcript
i was the worlds fastest worker. My big mistake was becoming a lawyer, Flashback: Do you think I need an estate plan? Heres your will and heres my bill for 9 cents,