Autographed By Jesus Comic Strips
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11 Results for Autographed By Jesus
View 1 - 10 results for autographed by jesus comic strips. Discover the best "Autographed By Jesus" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday October 22,
1997
Tags #autographed by jesus, #footbal, #stitches, #healed, #oink
Transcript
Dilbert holds a football. A baseball and bat lie on the table. Dilbert says, "You say this football was autographed by Jesus..." Dilbert holds the ball up and says, "But I'm no fool. This isn't a football. It has no stiches." Dogbert says, "They healed." Dilbert says, "Wow!" Dogbert says, "And I think I heard it oink."
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Tuesday October 21,
1997
Tags #sport memorabilia, #baseball, #autographed, #babe ruth, #autographed later, #Sports
Transcript
A kid in a baseball hat holds a baseball while Dogbert stands on the counter next to the cash register. The kid says, "This is the best price I've seen for a baseball autographed by Babe Ruth." The kids holds the ball up and says, "But I don't see where the autograph is." t gets autographed later tonight." The kid says, "I'll take this and three of the Honus Wagner cards."
Saturday March 08,
2008
Tags #jesus, #introduces, #new employee, #team leader, #enjoy retirement, #coffee stain
Transcript
The Boss: Wally, this is your new team leader. He spells his name like Jesus but it's pronounced Hay-Soos. If you do what Jesus would do, you can enjoy your retirement. Wally: I have a coffee stain that looks just like you. Jesus: I get that a lot."
Monday March 10,
2008
Tags #breakroom, #coffee into wine, #hay-soos, #jesus, #miracle, #new employee, #special powers, #hair, #bald
Transcript
Pronounced Hay-soos Wally: With a name like Jesus, I can't promise I won't mock you. Foop! Jesus: baldness be gone. Wally: I'm not lazy...and I can see! Jesus: Don't spill your wine."
Tuesday March 11,
2008
Tags #jesus, #leader, #team leader, #in need, #12 people, #upgrade systems, #lunch meeting, #bed feelings, #savior, #office
Transcript
It's pronounced Hay-soos. Jesus: My name is Jesus, and I seek twelve people to work on my project. I am the saver of databases. Join me to upgrade our systems. Jesus: First, we're all going to lunch. Asok: I have a bad feeling about this."
Thursday March 13,
2008
Tags #jesus, #ratted you out, #finding out, #undoing, #miracle
Transcript
Pronounced Hay-Soos Wally: Did you find out who ratted you out, Jesus? FZEET! Wally: Maybe you have a way of finding out that sort of thing.
Friday March 14,
2008
Tags #jesus, #downsized, #return as consultant, #save pensions, #forgetful boss
Transcript
Pronounced Hay-Soos The Boss: Jesus, I thought you got down-sized. Jesus: I came back. Tell the others I was downsized so I could return as a consultant and save their pensions. The Boss: I should have written that down."
Sunday November 10,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #author, #book, #signing, #autograph, #copy, #bobby mcnewton, #child star, #sixties, #leave it to beaver, #leveraging, #fame, #promote, #recipe, #walnuts, #milk, #pork, #pig, #corpse, #ghost writer
Transcript
Dogbert walks by a bookstore. A sign in the window says, "Book signing today." A man at a table asks, "Would you like an autographed copy?" Dogbert asks, "Who are you?" The author replies, "I'm Bobby McNewton, child-star from the Sixties. I once had a speaking part on 'Leave it to Beaver.'" Bobby continues, "I'm leveraging my fame to promote my recipe book." The book is titled "Bobby McNewton's Cooking With Walnuts." Dogbert opens the book and reads, "'Walnuts and Milk: Crush walnuts on table. Pour milk on walnuts. Serve cold.'" Dogbert reads, "'Walnuts and Pork: Kill a pig. Cook dead pig. Sprinkle walnuts on pig's corpse.'" Bobby says, "I used a ghost writer." Dogbert asks, "Was he a ghost before he ate your food?"
Wednesday March 12,
2008
Tags #pronouned hay-soos, #fixed eye sight, #hair regrow, #40 shares, #punch pilot light, #ceo, #team organizer
Transcript
Pronounced Hay-soos. Wally: The new team leader, Jesus, is gaining quite a following." He fixed my eyesight and made my hair regrow. I think he wants your job as CEO. For forty shares of stock, I could point him out at lunch. CEO: I'll punch his pilot light out!"
Monday March 17,
2008
Tags #soul crushing negativity, #humanity final chapter, #darkness, #anticipating
Transcript
Dilbert: That's my plan. Now I'd like to open the floor to your soul-crushing negativity. Jesus: You have written humanity's final chapter!" Tina: Darkness stalks us!" "I'll never know love!" Man: Anticipating it didn't help.