Autographed By Jesus Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

11 Results for Autographed By Jesus

View 1 - 10 results for autographed by jesus comic strips. Discover the best "Autographed By Jesus" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #autographed by jesus, #footbal, #stitches, #healed, #oink

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert holds a football. A baseball and bat lie on the table. Dilbert says, "You say this football was autographed by Jesus..." Dilbert holds the ball up and says, "But I'm no fool. This isn't a football. It has no stiches." Dogbert says, "They healed." Dilbert says, "Wow!" Dogbert says, "And I think I heard it oink."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sport memorabilia, #baseball, #autographed, #babe ruth, #autographed later, #Sports

View Transcript

Transcript

A kid in a baseball hat holds a baseball while Dogbert stands on the counter next to the cash register. The kid says, "This is the best price I've seen for a baseball autographed by Babe Ruth." The kids holds the ball up and says, "But I don't see where the autograph is." t gets autographed later tonight." The kid says, "I'll take this and three of the Honus Wagner cards."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jesus, #introduces, #new employee, #team leader, #enjoy retirement, #coffee stain

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Wally, this is your new team leader. He spells his name like Jesus but it's pronounced Hay-Soos. If you do what Jesus would do, you can enjoy your retirement. Wally: I have a coffee stain that looks just like you. Jesus: I get that a lot."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #breakroom, #coffee into wine, #hay-soos, #jesus, #miracle, #new employee, #special powers, #hair, #bald

View Transcript

Transcript

Pronounced Hay-soos Wally: With a name like Jesus, I can't promise I won't mock you. Foop! Jesus: baldness be gone. Wally: I'm not lazy...and I can see! Jesus: Don't spill your wine."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jesus, #leader, #team leader, #in need, #12 people, #upgrade systems, #lunch meeting, #bed feelings, #savior, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

It's pronounced Hay-soos. Jesus: My name is Jesus, and I seek twelve people to work on my project. I am the saver of databases. Join me to upgrade our systems. Jesus: First, we're all going to lunch. Asok: I have a bad feeling about this."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jesus, #ratted you out, #finding out, #undoing, #miracle

View Transcript

Transcript

Pronounced Hay-Soos Wally: Did you find out who ratted you out, Jesus? FZEET! Wally: Maybe you have a way of finding out that sort of thing.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jesus, #downsized, #return as consultant, #save pensions, #forgetful boss

View Transcript

Transcript

Pronounced Hay-Soos The Boss: Jesus, I thought you got down-sized. Jesus: I came back. Tell the others I was downsized so I could return as a consultant and save their pensions. The Boss: I should have written that down."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #author, #book, #signing, #autograph, #copy, #bobby mcnewton, #child star, #sixties, #leave it to beaver, #leveraging, #fame, #promote, #recipe, #walnuts, #milk, #pork, #pig, #corpse, #ghost writer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert walks by a bookstore. A sign in the window says, "Book signing today." A man at a table asks, "Would you like an autographed copy?" Dogbert asks, "Who are you?" The author replies, "I'm Bobby McNewton, child-star from the Sixties. I once had a speaking part on 'Leave it to Beaver.'" Bobby continues, "I'm leveraging my fame to promote my recipe book." The book is titled "Bobby McNewton's Cooking With Walnuts." Dogbert opens the book and reads, "'Walnuts and Milk: Crush walnuts on table. Pour milk on walnuts. Serve cold.'" Dogbert reads, "'Walnuts and Pork: Kill a pig. Cook dead pig. Sprinkle walnuts on pig's corpse.'" Bobby says, "I used a ghost writer." Dogbert asks, "Was he a ghost before he ate your food?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pronouned hay-soos, #fixed eye sight, #hair regrow, #40 shares, #punch pilot light, #ceo, #team organizer

View Transcript

Transcript

Pronounced Hay-soos. Wally: The new team leader, Jesus, is gaining quite a following." He fixed my eyesight and made my hair regrow. I think he wants your job as CEO. For forty shares of stock, I could point him out at lunch. CEO: I'll punch his pilot light out!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #soul crushing negativity, #humanity final chapter, #darkness, #anticipating

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: That's my plan. Now I'd like to open the floor to your soul-crushing negativity. Jesus: You have written humanity's final chapter!" Tina: Darkness stalks us!" "I'll never know love!" Man: Anticipating it didn't help.