Search Results for "awesome and charismatic"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 43

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 2011's comic on:

Tags #big business, #meetings, #succession plan, #awesome and charismatic, #replace you, #bag of moss

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We need a succession plan. I'm so awesome and charismatic that the company would be in trouble if I were to leave. Alice: I wouldn't worry about it. It's not as if you invented anything. We could replace you with a bag of moss. Dilbert: He got quiet. Alice: See? Moss can totally do that.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 2011's comic on:

Tags #interviews, #ignorant and bored, #hired, #awesome tech skills, #management genius

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: You're ignorant and ridiculous. I'm bored. Are we done here? Boss: You're hired. You must have awesome technical skills or else someone would have killed you by now. Boss: I can't tell if I'm a management genius or just lazy.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2011's comic on:

Tags #excitement, #gloating, #awesome bob, #dry cleaner, #flying wing suit

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm excited because I have a meeting in a few minutes with Awesome Bob. Everything he does is just a little bit more awesome than what anyone else does. Carol: He's running late because the dry cleaner couldn't get the sushi stains out of his flying wingsuit. Boss: AWESOME!

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 2012's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #environmental issues, #fracking, #competitors, #headquarters, #pollute water, #generate earthquakes, #fracking awesome

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We're going to start fracking under our biggest competitors headquarters. My plan is to pollute their water and generate earthquakes to destroy their campus. The project code name is "fracking awesome." Dilbert: Catchy.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #democracy, #movement, #charismatic, #leader, #elbonian, #elbonia, #acne, #Men, #trick, #question

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Dilbert stand on a castle turret. Dilbert looks over the edge and says, "It looks the democracy movement has a new charismatic leader." A man stands in front of a crowd of Elbonians. The man yells, "Give me liberty or give me . . . Uh . . . Back acne." The man yells, "Are we mice or are we men?" An Elbonian woman asks, "Is that a trick question?"

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #charismatic, #leader, #vegetarian, #ranks, #scrawny, #wimps, #deceptively, #healthy

View Transcript

Transcript

A thin man with a mustache and glasses says, "Dogbert, we need you to become the charismatic leader of our vegetarian movement." The man continues, "We tried to pick a leader from our ranks, but most of us are . . . Um . . . Well . . ." Dogbert asks, "Scrawny wimps?" The man replies, "Yeah, but deceptively healthy."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 1998's comic on:

Tags #crown, #Dogbert, #charismatic leaders, #fill void, #egomaniacal philandering sociopaths

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob the Dinosaur looking at Dogbert, who is wearing a crown and staring at himself in a mirror. Bob inquires, "What's the crown for?" Dogbert turns around and answers, "There aren't any charismatic leaders in the world lately. I'm going to fill the void." Bob asks, "Don't charismatic leaders usually turn out to be egomaniacal, philandering sociopaths?" Dogbert looks into the mirror and replies, "And they look good in hats!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 1998's comic on:

Tags #no charismatic leaders, #cable tv, #scandal, #diversion, #great news story, #fertility drugs, #in coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sitting on a chair with a crown on his head while Garbage Man holds garbage bag. Dogbert asks, "Why are there no charismatic leaders anymore?" Garbage Man responds, "Cable TV." While placing garbage in dump truck, Garbage Man says, "Scandal is the most economical way to fill news programs. They'll go after you, too." Dogbert says, "I'll need a diversion." Dogbert and Dilbert on couch. Dilbert says, "I don't care if its a great news atory; I will NOT take fertility drugs!" Dogbert says, "They're in your coffee."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2013's comic on:

Tags #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #good leader, #ego, #great leaders, #awesome, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: A good leader puts his team ahead of his own ego. Boss: What do great leaders do? I'm thinking it's the opposite, right? Catbert: They don't do what you just did. Boss: They don't be awesome?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2013's comic on:

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #joking, #experts, #best leaders, #good sense of humour, #awesome leader, #hilarous, #laugh

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Experts say the best leaders have a good sense of humor. I'm an awesome leader, therefore I must be hilarious. Wally: I can't tell if I should laugh at that. Boss: That's because you're not a leader.