Awesome And Charismatic Comic Strips
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45 Results for Awesome And Charismatic
View 1 - 10 results for awesome and charismatic comic strips. Discover the best "Awesome And Charismatic" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday October 25,
2011
Tags #big business, #meetings, #succession plan, #awesome and charismatic, #replace you, #bag of moss
Transcript
CEO: We need a succession plan. I'm so awesome and charismatic that the company would be in trouble if I were to leave. Alice: I wouldn't worry about it. It's not as if you invented anything. We could replace you with a bag of moss. Dilbert: He got quiet. Alice: See? Moss can totally do that.
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Monday July 04,
2011
Tags #interviews, #ignorant and bored, #hired, #awesome tech skills, #management genius
Transcript
Man: You're ignorant and ridiculous. I'm bored. Are we done here? Boss: You're hired. You must have awesome technical skills or else someone would have killed you by now. Boss: I can't tell if I'm a management genius or just lazy.
Friday December 30,
2011
Tags #excitement, #gloating, #awesome bob, #dry cleaner, #flying wing suit
Transcript
Boss: I'm excited because I have a meeting in a few minutes with Awesome Bob. Everything he does is just a little bit more awesome than what anyone else does. Carol: He's running late because the dry cleaner couldn't get the sushi stains out of his flying wingsuit. Boss: AWESOME!
Friday March 02,
2012
Tags #business ethics, #environmental issues, #fracking, #competitors, #headquarters, #pollute water, #generate earthquakes, #fracking awesome
Transcript
CEO: We're going to start fracking under our biggest competitors headquarters. My plan is to pollute their water and generate earthquakes to destroy their campus. The project code name is "fracking awesome." Dilbert: Catchy.
Thursday October 17,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #democracy, #movement, #charismatic, #leader, #elbonian, #elbonia, #acne, #Men, #trick, #question
Transcript
Dogbert and Dilbert stand on a castle turret. Dilbert looks over the edge and says, "It looks the democracy movement has a new charismatic leader." A man stands in front of a crowd of Elbonians. The man yells, "Give me liberty or give me . . . Uh . . . Back acne." The man yells, "Are we mice or are we men?" An Elbonian woman asks, "Is that a trick question?"
Tuesday September 15,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #charismatic, #leader, #vegetarian, #ranks, #scrawny, #wimps, #deceptively, #healthy
Transcript
A thin man with a mustache and glasses says, "Dogbert, we need you to become the charismatic leader of our vegetarian movement." The man continues, "We tried to pick a leader from our ranks, but most of us are . . . Um . . . Well . . ." Dogbert asks, "Scrawny wimps?" The man replies, "Yeah, but deceptively healthy."
Tuesday May 26,
1998
Tags #crown, #Dogbert, #charismatic leaders, #fill void, #egomaniacal philandering sociopaths
Transcript
Bob the Dinosaur looking at Dogbert, who is wearing a crown and staring at himself in a mirror. Bob inquires, "What's the crown for?" Dogbert turns around and answers, "There aren't any charismatic leaders in the world lately. I'm going to fill the void." Bob asks, "Don't charismatic leaders usually turn out to be egomaniacal, philandering sociopaths?" Dogbert looks into the mirror and replies, "And they look good in hats!"
Wednesday May 27,
1998
Tags #no charismatic leaders, #cable tv, #scandal, #diversion, #great news story, #fertility drugs, #in coffee
Transcript
Dogbert sitting on a chair with a crown on his head while Garbage Man holds garbage bag. Dogbert asks, "Why are there no charismatic leaders anymore?" Garbage Man responds, "Cable TV." While placing garbage in dump truck, Garbage Man says, "Scandal is the most economical way to fill news programs. They'll go after you, too." Dogbert says, "I'll need a diversion." Dogbert and Dilbert on couch. Dilbert says, "I don't care if its a great news atory; I will NOT take fertility drugs!" Dogbert says, "They're in your coffee."
Wednesday January 02,
2013
Tags #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #good leader, #ego, #great leaders, #awesome, #business
Transcript
Catbert: A good leader puts his team ahead of his own ego. Boss: What do great leaders do? I'm thinking it's the opposite, right? Catbert: They don't do what you just did. Boss: They don't be awesome?
Friday March 08,
2013
Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #joking, #experts, #best leaders, #good sense of humour, #awesome leader, #hilarous, #laugh
Transcript
Boss: Experts say the best leaders have a good sense of humor. I'm an awesome leader, therefore I must be hilarious. Wally: I can't tell if I should laugh at that. Boss: That's because you're not a leader.