Background Comic Strips
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26 Results for Background
View 1 - 10 results for background comic strips. Discover the best "Background" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday June 22,
2021
Zoom Background Says A Lot
Tags #Advice, #business, #consultant, #video background, #shelves, #sports trophies, #photo, #jesus, #believability, #sarcasm
Transcript
dogbert: your video call background needs improvement. i'll fill your shelves with sports trophies, plus photos of you shaking hands with jesus. dilbert: who would believe i shook hands with jesus? dogbert: the same people who will believe you won lots of sports trophies.
Thursday March 28,
1996
Tags #dying from boredowm, #inetrview, #department newsletter, #background, #project is good, #engineer, #moms fallopian tubes, #engineering
Transcript
Tina the Tech Writer and Dilbert sit in Dilbert's cubicle. Tina says, "At the risk of dying from boredom, I must interview you for the department newsletter." Dilbert says, "Let me give you some background before I talk about my project . . ." Tina ignores Dilbert and writes, "'The project is good,' quipped the engineer." Dilbert continues, ". . . So there I am in my mom's Fallopian tube . . ."
Thursday April 25,
1996
Tags #experiment 1, #exposing rat marketing plan, #no adverse response, #introduction, #background, #far more exposure, #humans, #tolerate
Transcript
The caption says, "Experiment #1: I am exposing a rat to my company's marketing plan." Dilbert shows a copy of the plan to Ratbert. The caption says, "He seems to have no adverse response to the introduction and background." Ratbert hums as he reads the plan. Dilbert takes notes. The caption says, "This is already far more exposure than humans could tolerate." A large bump appears on Ratbert's head and he says, "Sales projections . . . brain tumor . . . get Tylenol . . ."
Sunday January 20,
2013
Tags #frustration, #internet & world wide web, #video, #echo, #background noise, #thick accent, #hard to hear, #bad audio, #computer, #skype, #waving goodbye, #success, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: I can't hear you. There's too much background noise and echo in your end. Computer: Gerple Murmp. Dilbert: I see a smudgy thing that might be your head, but I don't know what you're saying. Your accent is too thick. I can't... Computer: Muwa flamel guapen. Dilbert: I didn't understand what you said, and I can't tell which one of you is talking. Why don't... Computer: Urgam... Dilbert: Okay, you go. Computer: Ekplum. Dilbert: What? Computer: Mungow. Dilbert: Did you say... Computer: Plurb. Dilbert: You're acting as if I agreed to something, but I don't even know what the topic is. I see you waving goodbye, so you must think we're done. Boss: Was your call a success? Dilbert: Better than anything I've done all week.
Saturday November 28,
2009
Tags #punishment, #beard, #mislead, #book, #worker, #background check, #innocent, #screaming
Transcript
The Boss says, "Ted, I just got the results of your security clearance background check." The Boss says, "Homeland security ordered me to beat you to death with our emergency preparedness binder." Ted says, "But?.I haven't done anything wrong!" The Boss says, "I might have said some things about your new beard."
Sunday November 10,
2002
Tags #red color, #presentation, #yellow, #set standards, #background colors, #metero, #pointy haired, #managing nitwits, #ear hole
Transcript
Dilbert points to a slide and says, "And then I would end the presentation with this." The Boss is sitting next to two other pointy-haired people. He says, "Whoa! I don't like the look of that background color." The Boss continues, "Red says danger. We don't want to scare our customers." Dilbert responds, "Um.. okay. How about yellow?" The second pointy-haired person says, "Yellow? Are we saying we're cowards?" The third pointy-haired person says, "What we need is a committee to set some standards for background colors." Dilbert responds, "What we need is a meteor to pulverize you three pointy- haired, micro-managing nitwits." After the meeting, Wally asks Dilbert, "If you didn't move your mouth, how did it get out?" Dilbert responds, "It came out of my ear hole."
Saturday April 18,
2020
Great Job For Someone
Tags #business, #office workers, #job, #opening, #private, #office, #opportunity, #background, #rid
Transcript
dilbert: i hear there's a great job opening in operations for someone with your background. big salary, private office. looks like a great opportunity for you. office worker: are you trying to get rid of me? dilbert: not in a way you are suppose to notice.
Thursday March 18,
2021
Talking During Zoom Call
Tags #anger, #background, #business, #call, #competition, #stop, #technology, #video conference call, #zoom, #video call
Transcript
Dilbert yelling: dogbert! can you keep down the noise while i'm on zoom! dogbert standing on chair: i'm on a zoom call too. your call isn't more important than mine! dilbert speaking to his laptop: sorry, i can't stop the background noise. dogbert yelling from another room: can you keep it down in there? i'm on a zoom call.
Friday March 26,
2021
Shelves Are Ugly
Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #background, #attractive, #shelf, #lawn mower, #gym, #human, #decency, #rude, #laptop
Transcript
Dilbert on video call. voice from laptop: what's that behind you on the shelf? can't you make your background more attractive? dilbert: if we're being that way, who cuts your hair? your lawn mower? voice from laptop: did your gym go out of business? dilbert: i already miss our last shred of human decency.
Tuesday April 27,
2021
Bookshelves On Zoom
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #update, #video call, #zoom, #client, #lost, #respect, #staged, #bookshelves, #money, #payment, #deserve, #background
Transcript
boss and alice on video call. boss: how did your zoom call with the client work out? alice: i lost all respect for him after seeing his poorly staged bookshelves in the background. but we'll still take his money, right? alice: yes, he doesn't deserve to keep any of it.