Bad Descions Comic Strips

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656 Results for Bad Descions

View 1 - 10 results for bad descions comic strips. Discover the best "Bad Descions" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #job interview, #work long hours, #14 hour days, #bad descions, #bad decision maker, #good communicator

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Interview Alice: Can you work long hours if needed? Man: Yes. It's normal for me to work 14 hours a day. Alice: Research shows that working long hours causes people to make bad decisions. So we know you're a bad decision maker. Are you a good communicator? Man: Is the right answer "no"?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #minutes, #meeting, #read minutes, #irrelevant things said, #men are idiots, #bad descions, #implied, #business

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In a meeting, The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, would you read the minutes from our last meeting?" Alice reads, "People said irrelevant things. Bad decisions were made. Men are idiots." The Boss responds, "I don't remember that last part." Alice says, "It was implied." Wally is asleep.

Noble Bad Data

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Noble Bad Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accurate, #bad, #business, #data, #heroic, #managers & supervisors, #noble, #war

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boss's voice coming from monitor: is the data accurate? dilbert at desk looking at boss on video conference: you don't go to war with the data you need. you go to war with the data you have. boss: did you just make it sound noble to use bad data? dilbert: and heroic.

Bad Judge Of Character

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Bad Judge Of Character  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #bad, #judge, #character, #hire, #termite, #clothes, #disguise, #youtube, #makeup, #video

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boss wearing face mask: i'm starting to think i'm a bad judge of character. the last three people i hired turned out to be termite colonies in clothes. dilbert in face mask: how did they disguise the face part? boss: they learned from youtube makeup videos.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #appeal, #bad person, #business ethics, #comparison shopping, #guilt, #molt, #prevents competitors, #raising prices

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Dilbert: Our products only appeal to people who aren't good at comparison shopping. But I justify it because our existence prevents competitors from raising prices. Am I a bad person? Dogbert: I molt a little bit every time you talk.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #laziness, #seven layers of management, #lead company, #unknowingly, #bad idea, #input to avoid, #ceo, #middle management

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CEO: I plant to add seven more layers of management between you and me. My goal is to lead the company without knowing anything about it. Boss: That sounds like a bad idea. CEO: This sort of input is exactly what I'm trying to avoid.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #managers & supervisors, #couldn't be worse, #bad idea, #Funny, #project is bad idea, #business

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The Boss says, "How's everything going?" Dilbert says, "It couldn't be worse." Dilbert says, "I was the only person who said this project is a bad idea. Then you assigned it to me." The Boss says, "It's funnier when I make them say it." Dilbert says, "Grrrr"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad time, #governments unemployment stats, #look for job, #managers & supervisors, #new job, #employment, #business

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The Boss says, "The government's new unemployment statistics are out." The Boss says, "It's still a bad time to look for a job." Dilbert says, "Yeah. I got that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #proactive, #send email, #bad time management, #creating illuson, #sarcasm, #crazy boss, #business

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The Boss says, "You need to be more proactive." Dilbert says, "I can only appear to be proactive if you stop telling me to do things I've already planned." The Boss says, "How am I supposed to know what you plan to do every minute?" Dilbert says, "I could send you an e-mail every time I have a thought." The Boss says, "I don't have time for that!" Dilbert says, "Apparently your bad time management is creating the illusion that I'm not proactive." Dilbert says, "I'll take the liberty of signing you up for a time management class." The Boss says, "Don't do that!" Dilbert says, "So...I should not be proactive?" The Boss says, "Just do what I want before I know I want it." Dilbert says, "I hope the next thing you want is sarcasm."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gloating, #bad winner, #office, #co workers

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Coworker: do you remember six months ago when I told you you were wrong? EEE-YORE! EEE-YORE! EEE-YORE! I just realized Im a bad winner.