Bad Ideas Comic Strips
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796 Results for Bad Ideas
View 1 - 10 results for bad ideas comic strips. Discover the best "Bad Ideas" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday November 18,
1997
Tags #losers, #bad ideas, #test a new idea, #research, #science
Transcript
Dilbert is dressed in shorts and a t-shirt and carries a Frisbee. He says, "All great ideas look like bad ideas to people who are losers." Dilbert throws the Frisbee while Dogbert watches it float away. Dilbert says, "It's always a good to test a new idea with known losers to make sure they don't like it." Dogbert's Research Co. A man says to a woman, 'What a coincidence. We both lost three homes in flood zones." The woman is in love. Dogbert says, "Let's begin."
Sunday October 13,
2002
Tags #communication, #integrity, #teamwork, #pyramid pillars, #team memeber idiots, #honest opinion, #team player, #agree bad ideas, #two legged stool
Transcript
The Boss points to a slide and says, "The three pillars of our pyramid are communication, integrity, and teamwork." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: Since when do pyramids have pillars?" The Boss responds, "Answer: Shut up." Alice raises her hand and says, "Problem: All of my team members are idiots." Alice continues, "If I communicate my honest opinion of their ideas, I won't be a team player." Alice continues, "But if I pretend to agree with their bad ideas, I won't have integrity." Alice continues, "So instead of being a pyramid, can I be a two-legged stool like you?" Dilbert turns to Alice and says, "Wow! That was much better than my pillar question." Wally asks Alice, "Aren't I on your team?"
Monday March 16,
2015
Ceo Mentors Wally To No Avail
Tags #Promotion, #saving face, #executives, #bad advice, #bad ideas, #mentor, #mentoring
Transcript
CEO: I've been mentoring Wally for over a week and he's still useless. But we need to promote him to Vice President so it looks as if my mentoring works. Catbert: That might be a bad idea in the long run. CEO: What is this "long run" people keep harping about?
Sunday July 27,
1997
Tags #albert einstein, #marketing, #idea, #never work, #don't fully understand, #albert, #quite an ego, #experienced managers, #work smarter, #not harder, #business
Transcript
What if...Albert Einstien had been in marketing? Dogbert stands excited. Albert Einstien hands a piece of paper to The Boss who sits behind his desk. Einstien says, "I have a great idea for increasing sales." The Boss reads report. The Boss says, "Nope. This will never work." Einstien asks, "Um...is it possible that you don't fully understand the idea?" The Boss says, "That's quite an ego you have there, Allan." Einstein frowns. Einstein says, "Albert." The Boss walks Einstien out of his office. The Boss says, "Experienced managers know how to identify bad ideas...." The Boss says, "Bad ideas come from other people. Now go work smarter, not harder." Einstien walks away. The Boss thinks, "I worry that a guy like that will go off and build a huge bomb."
Tuesday May 05,
2015
What Would You Do In A Perfect World
Tags #ideas, #bad ideas, #thinking, #scenario, #management
Transcript
Boss: In a perfect world, how would you fix the problem? Dilbert: In a perfect world you would not exist, so I would do smart things instead of whatever you tell me to do next. So... what should I do next? Boss: Let's pie-chart this thing.
Wednesday December 06,
2017
Fake Email From The Ceo
Tags #virus, #infection, #malware, #technology, #typo, #literacy
Transcript
Dilbert: I can't delete the Elbonian virus in our network. It keeps replicating. Holy carp! It created a fake email full of typos and bad ideas and sent it out from our CEO's account! Wait, no. That's actually from our CEO. Wally: Maybe the virus can fix him.
Thursday December 11,
2003
Tags #insincere optimism, #artificial sense of urgency, #delusion, #work for challenge, #not money, #good ideas, #sound bad
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm developing an insincere optimism to complement my artificial sense of urgency. Dilbert: I hope to top it off with a delusion that I work for the challenge and not the money. The Boss: How can you make good ideas sound so bad? Dilbert: Im an engineer.
Tuesday June 23,
2020
How To Identify Good Ideas
Tags #technology, #decision making, #smart, #people, #idiot, #agree, #disagree, #good, #bad, #idea, #rational
Transcript
dilbert: i can't tell the difference between good ideas and bad ones. there are smart people on both sides of every idea. what rational process do you use to determine who is right? wally: i label people who disagree with me "idiots" and call it a day.
Sunday October 16,
2011
Tags #choosing, #meetings, #creative ideas, #next prodcut, #ignorance on public disply, #cost money, #increase risk, #evaluate each idea, #disdain, #good idea
Transcript
Boss: We need creative ideas for our next product. But not from you. Your ideas are awful. And don't suggest something that is already being done. That just puts your ignorance on public display. I don't want to hear any ideas that cost money or increase risk. As usual, I'll evaluate each idea by repeating it slowly while I look at your with disdain. If you come up with a good idea, I'll let you take on the project in addition to your existing work. Who wants to go first? How did I hire so many people who have no ideas? Catbert: Probably bad luck.
Thursday June 14,
2012
Tags #anger, #bad idea, #email, #hate, #meeting, #recommend changes, #bed ideas, #business
Transcript
Coworker: Did you see my email with all of my recommended changes to your product? Dilbert: Yes. Everything you suggested is a bad idea, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life explaining why. Coworker: Now I hate you. Dilbert: All roads headed in that directions. All I did was take the shortest one.