dilbert holding out banana: i'm not hungry today. do you want my banana?
boss: that's an apple.
dilbert: um..no this is a banana.
boss: clearly it is not.
dilbert: i can't believe you are making me do a google search to prove i know what a banana is. see? those are bananas. this looks just like the photos. this is a banana.
those images are doctored.
dilbert yelling: there are a million banana images! they are not all doctored!
boss: you know how i know you are wrong? because you never admit you are wrong. gotcha!
dilbert yelling: that is not a thing!!!
boss: that's exactly what all the people who are wrong say.
Dilbert: I would feel more motivated if I knew how my assignment fits into the big picture. Boss: You don't need to be motivated. A monkey could do your assignment while eating a banana. Like this. Ooh-ooh-ooh! Dilbert: I think we're moving in the wrong direction.
Dilbert, who is naked, picks Dogbert up and says, "I'm alive!! I owe my life to you, Dogbert, for cloning me in the nick of time." Dogbert says, "According to ancient dog tradition, you must be my servant for life." Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a counter in a restaurant. Dogbert says, "Don't tell the ancient dogs I settled for a banana split."
Dogbert sits at the table and Ratbert stands on the table holding a paintbrush and palette. Ratbert looks at his easel and says, "I'm channeling all of my pain and hostility into my art." Dogbert says, "All I see is a bowl of fruit." Ratbert makes angry brushstrokes and replies, "The banana HATES the apple."
The Boss: After comparing the two of you, I've decided to keep Dilbert for the last engineering job.
Dilbert: Yes! I win, you little banana-eating-flea-hotel! Ha ha ha ha ha!!
Dilbert sits at his computer. The boss hands him a piece of paper. "I'll need this vital information by one o'clock." Dilbert thinks, "If I do a shoddy job, I can finish this and still make it to lunch!" Dilbert eats lunch with Alice and Wally. Dilbert says, "Today I traded my work ethic for a banana." Wally says, "I ate that banana years ago."
Headline: Evolution Training. Dogbert stands atop a stool in front of students with a pointer in his hand. He says, "Some of you will not make it through the class." A banana who happens to be seated next to a gorilla raises its hand and asks, "May I move to a different seat?" The rest of the class looks on. Dogbert responds, "Sure... Oops. Problem solved. Carl, don't leave that where someone will slip on it."
Wally: Studies show that well-rested people are more productive. Should I go take a nap or should I ignore science like some sort of pointy-haired baboon? I like to synchronize my questions to his banana-eating.
The Boss: Is this 'take your daughter to work day' again?
Girl: No, I'm a free-lancer. I've narrowed my career choices to prison guard or monkey trainer.
The boss: I don't see how coming here will help.
Girl: I'll give you a banana if you show me your cubicles.
