Bank Account Comic Strips
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70 Results for Bank Account
View 1 - 10 results for bank account comic strips. Discover the best "Bank Account" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday October 29,
1989
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #cds, #account, #push-ups, #exercise, #glasses, #david packard, #bank, #bank account
Transcript
Dilbert says, "They were rude to me at the bank again, Dogbert." Dilbert points to the door and says, "I've had enough . . . Sic 'em, boy!!" Dogbert walks into the bank. Dogbert tells a woman, "Hi. I'm David Packard; billionaire founder of Hewlett-Packard." Dogbert sits at the woman's desk and continues, ". . . And I'd like to put all of my money into one of your non-interest bearing accounts." The woman replies, "You're not David Packard. You're just a dreadful little dog with glasses." The woman says, "Then again . . . I've never seen a picture of David Packard . . . I'd better open the account." Dogbert says, "Very good. Now give me fifty push-ups or I'll take my business elsewhere."
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Monday May 19,
2014
Tags #electronic mail, #internet & world wide web, #scams, #enter bank acct, #employee, #boss
Transcript
WHY phishing scams keep working enter your bank account number. Dilbert: Scam. WAIT FOR IT enter your bank account number Alice: Scam. There it is Boss: Okey-dokey.
Saturday April 06,
2019
Teaching Ai To Flirt
Tags #bank, #business, #office, #office workers, #robot
Transcript
dilbert talking to the boss. dilbert: i taught my a.i. software to flirt with humans. dilbert: by day three, i had fallen in love, and it drained my bank account to buy a robot body. robot: demand a raise you wimp! dilbert: help m
Sunday February 23,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #withdraw, #dollars, #account, #Number, #bank, #concept
Transcript
Dilbert approaches the Bank of Ethel and sees a sign that says "Now a secret Swiss bank." Dilbert says to a teller, "I'd like to withdraw two hundred dollars." The woman asks, "What's your secret Swiss account number?" Dilbert replies, "I don't have a secret account. It's just a regular account." The teller says, "Wrong. I changed all of the accounts into secret Swiss accounts." Dilbert says, "Oh, okay. What's my secret account number?" The woman replies, "It's a secret." Dilbert asks, "Then how do I get my money out?" The teller says, "You're a bit slow in grasping the concept here." Dilbert says, "Okay, okay. I'll just open a new account." The teller asks, "Do you hav eany previous banking references?"
Sunday May 23,
1993
Tags #bank of ethel, #ethel, #Dilbert, #paying, #credit, #Card, #automatically, #transfer, #account, #craze, #elsewhere
Transcript
A teller at the Bank of Ethel says, "Next victim." Dilbert approaches the window and says, "You charged me a fee for paying my credit card bill a day late." The woman asks, "So?" Dilbert asks, "Why don't your computers automatically transfer money from my checking account instead of charging a penalty?" The teller replies, "Frankly, we're not much into the 'customer service' craze." The teller continues, "We prefer to set little traps so customers get hit with unexpected penalties." Dilbert says angrily, "Well!! I think I'll just take my business elsewhere!" The teller says, "You're annoying me. That's a hundred dollar penalty!" Dilbert walks out of the bank wearing only his underwear. He thinks, "I don't think I can even claim a moral victory here."
Saturday October 04,
2008
Tags #new vp of finance, #secret offshore bank, #forgot account number, #password, #name of country, #not so good
Transcript
Wally is the new VP of Finance A troll says, "I moved all of our cash to a secret offshore bank." The troll says, "But I forgot to write down the account number. Or the password. Or the name of the country." The troll says, "And... I'm not entirely sure it was a bank." Wally thinks, "First day, not so good."
Monday October 16,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #bank, #business, #deposit, #money, #debt, #ethel
Transcript
Dilbert stands at a teller window at the Bank of Ethel. The teller says, "I spent all of your money. Terribly sorry." Dilbert says, "You what?!" Dilbert says angrily, "This is outrageous! How can you spend all of MY money?!!" The woman responds, "Oh, Mr. Moneybags, like it was SO MUCH." Dilbert puts his hands on his hips and says, "Oooh! I am ACTIVELY considering taking my business elsewhere!" The teller asks, "Are you making a deposit or just wasting my time?"
Friday March 02,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #phone, #phone call, #bank, #trouble, #payroll, #deposit, #check, #you, #distress
Transcript
Dilbert picks up the phone and says, "Hello?" A voice says, "This is your bank." The voice says, "We're having trouble meeting payroll . . . Could you come down and make some deposits right away?" Dilbert asks, "Will you take a check?" The person asks, "From YOU?"
Friday November 09,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #bank, #ethel, #hand, #combat, #serious, #automated, #teller, #machine, #encouraging
Transcript
Dilbert stands at a teller window at the Bank of Ethel. The teller says, "I cannot allow this withdrawal . . ." The woman continues, "Unless you defeat me in hand to hand combat." Dilbert arrives at home with a bandage on his head and his arm in a sling. Dilbert tells Dogbert, "They seem pretty serious about encouraging the use of their automated teller machines."
Saturday July 14,
2012
Tags #banking, #deposit, #bank, #waste it, #hedging strategies, #honesty is refreshing, #money
Transcript
Bank Teller: Thanks for the deposit, sucker! We plan to waste it on complicated hedging strategies that we don't even understand. Dilbert: Your honesty is refreshing. Bank Teller: Thanks, but it makes cross-selling harder.