Banking Business Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Banking Business

View 1 - 10 results for banking business comic strips. Discover the best "Banking Business" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2004's comic on:

Tags #poison waffles, #stock, #insider trading, #conflicts of interest, #worthwhile, #banking business

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'll recommend your stock to the public, but first I need some conflicts of interest to make it worthwhile." "For example, I'll need to get your investment banking business." "Okay." "And you need to merge with my other client that makes poison waffles." "Okay."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2001's comic on:

Tags #equity analyst, #rate stock, #banking investment, #wall, #between businesses, #weasels

View Transcript

Transcript

Equity Analyst Weasel: I'll rate your stock a "Must buy now" If you give us your investment banking business. The Boss: aren't you supposed yo have a chinese wall between those two businesses? weasel: Am I Too early? Weasel 1: Use the door idiot

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 2002's comic on:

Tags #rat hole, #business plan, #pay huge investment fees, #money losing, #take your money, #push in hole

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert is sitting outside behind a desk labeled, "Rat Hole." A businessman approaches holding a bag of money and asks, "May I throw money down the rat hole?" Dogbert replies, "Show me your business plan." Dogbert flips through the business plan and says, "You plan to pay huge investment banking fees to buy a low-margin, money-losing business..." Dogbert says, "For an extra fee, I'll push you in the hold and take your money." The businessman replies, "Oooh, sounds good."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2010's comic on:

Tags #dogbertland, #tax, #garbage, #trash, #ocean, #texas, #king, #banking system

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We're reincorporating in Dogbertland for tax reasons." Dilbert says, "Where?" The Boss says, "It's a floating patch of garbage in the Pacific Ocean the size of Texas." In Dogbertland Ratbert says, "How's the banking system?" Fly says, "Business is booming, King Ratbert."

The Evil Robot Business

Thank you for voting.
The Evil Robot Business - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 2015's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #ceo, #evil, #executives, #robot, #sell robots, #manipulate owners, #titanium bolts

View Transcript

Transcript

Pointy-Haired Boss Becomes CEO. Boss: We're going into the evil robot business. We'll sell robots that psychologically manipulate their owners into buying unnecessary upgrades. Evil Robot: Your neighbor got titanium bolts for his robot. I guess that's what winners do. But your way is good, too.

View more books now

Business Plan History

Thank you for voting.
Business Plan History - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 2016's comic on:

Tags #business plan, #futile, #futility, #goal, #guest artist, #logic, #plan, #john glynn

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Before we make our business plan for the coming year, let's see how well we stayed on plan last year. We ended up doing nothing that was in our plan, just like every year. Dilbert: Why do't' we skip it this year? Boss: It would be irrational to have no plan.

Wife Starts A Business

Thank you for voting.
Wife Starts A Business - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2018's comic on:

Tags #entrepreneur, #business, #divorce, #marriage, #assumption, #small business, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: My wife is starting her own business. Carol: I'm sorry to hear that. How many years have you been married? Boss: She's not leaving me. She's starting a business. Carol: Right. Don't talk about Phase 2. Got it.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2011's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #saving & investment, #intentional billing errors, #honest mistakes, #maintain bonuses, #pipelien, #new errors, #pension algorythm, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Once again, our only profitable line of business is "intentional billing errors." It started as a series of honest mistakes. Now it's the only way we can maintain our bonuses. Boss: Do we have anything better in the pipeline? Carol: R&D is testing some new errors for our pension algorithm.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2011's comic on:

Tags #inventions, #thinking, #creative, #teacher, #business card, #ideationista, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired Ken to teach us how to be more creative. According to his business card, his title is "ideationista." Ken: That was some of my best work.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 2011's comic on:

Tags #big business, #secondhand sales, #tablet computer, #business, #design logo, #pay another company, #other companies, #watch, #engineers, #degrade, #low morale

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're going into the tablet computer business. And by that I mean other companies will make the product and we'll design the logo. And by that I mean we'll pay another company to design the logo for us. Alice: Can we watch?