Dilbert: Your page layout is ugly. Tina: Whose fault is that? I work in an ugly cubicle surrounded by ugly people. You trample on my sense of aesthetics and expect me to be unaffected? Dilbert: So... it's my fault? Tina: You, your parents, your barber, and whoever dresses you.
Dogbert: I became a member of the Hairdresser Illuminati. Dilbert: The what? Dogbert: It's a shadowy organization that controls the world by manipulating the hairstyles of political candidates. Boss: What is my barber doing here? Dogbert: That haircut will never become your next president.
boss: i hired an elbonian consultant because we couldn't afford anyone local.
dilbert: have you ever consulted in this country?
elbonian consultant: no, but people are people, so i assume it isn't that different from elbonia.
boss: that's enough chitchat. tell us what we should do about the problems in our distribution system.
elbonian system: i recommend executing one of your distributors as a warning to the others.
boss: i'm going to need a second opinion.
elbonian consultant: my second opinion is that your barber must hate your guts.