The Boss: "Don't blame me, but there's no budget to give you a raise this year."
Alice: "Why not?"
The boss: "My business trip to Las Vegas cost four million dollars because I passed out in the bathtub with the water running and flooded five floors."
The boss; "The bartenders there are totally irresponsible."
Dilbert says, "Our scope needs to be calibrated. Do we have a budget for that?" The Boss says, "We can save a few bucks by sending it to my friend, Elrod. He likes to tinker." Dilbert says, "Everything about that idea is bad." The Boss says, "You should see the car he made from a bathtub."