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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2004's comic on:


Tags #kodos, #morale, #mascot, #meetings, #moral improves, #bear suit, #meeting, #low morale, #idea for imprvement, #business

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The Boss: "His name is Kudos, the bear-er of good morale!" "Kudos" "He's our new mascot. He'll attend all of our meetings until morale improves." "Today is Asok's turn in the suit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 1989's comic on:


Tags #bear, #Dilbert, #sales, #seven times

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Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a table. The doorbell rings. Dilbert opens the door and a bear says, "Hi. I'm the bear skin rug you ordered by mail." The bear enters the house and says, "I'm a kit. You just have to kill me, rip my guts out and leave me to dry." Dilbert looks shocked. Dilbert covers his eyes and says, "Egad! I couldn't possibly do that. Please . . . Just go." The bear says, "You'll receive a full refund, of course." Dilbert says, "No, no! Please keep it." The bear, who is really a man in a bear suit, walks into the rug store. A man at a desk asks, "How were sales today?" The man in the suit replies, "Great! Sold myself seven times."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2011's comic on:


Tags #blazers, #buying work clothes, #female, #men's clothing, #pantsuit talking, #unisex store, #unisex suit, #women suits

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Wally: I'm buying my work clothes at the unisex suit store. Dilbert: There's no such thing a unisex suit store. Wally: You always have to be right. Dilbert: That's the pantsuit talking.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2012's comic on:


Tags #fighting, #fraternization, #virtual, #ignorant blob, #ugly wool suit, #suggestions, #form of questions

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Boss: Why don't you change this box to say "virtual"? Dilbert: Because I don't want it to look like it was written by an ignorant blob in an ugly wool suit. You probably shouldn't put your suggestions in the form of questions.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 1989's comic on:


Tags #fashion, #suit

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Dilbert says to a salesclerk in a retail clothing store, "I'm looking for a fine wool suit, in the $700 range. Something fashionable yet timeless." The clerk hands him a suit and says, "Try this $35 nylon beauty, suitable for swimming or dining out. The bell bottoms are no extra charge." Dilbert says, "Wow!" Dilbert walks away carrying the $35 suit. He says, "I guess I was just born to be a fashion pioneer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #polar bear, #donald trump, #soviet union, #soviet-exchange

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Dogbert meets the soviet exchange program dog. Dogbert: He seems harmless. Polar Bear: Greetings, comrade Dogbert. I have come to learn capitalist system from dog's perspective. ...and your god is this Donald Trump? Dogbert: I don't think it's official yet.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #hero, #suit, #identity, #secret, #super, #powers, #acquire

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I made a super hero suit for myself." Dogbert asks, "Why?" Dilbert puts the suit on as he says, "You never know when you might accidentally acquire super powers. It happens all the time." Dilbert, who is now wearing a suit with a cape and a letter "D" on the front, continues, "This way, my identity can remain a secret." Dogbert says, "I suddenly see why that's so important."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #petimoney, #trial, #Dogbert, #suit, #hadeas corpus, #lo contendre, #latin, #club

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At the petimony trial, Dilbert says, "Your honor, I request that Dogbert's suit against me be dropped . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . On the grounds that there's no habeas corpus, no lo contendre, and no e pluribus unum." Dilbert looks up at the bench and thinks, "With luck, he doesn't know Latin either." The judge says, "Bailiff, club this man."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #argument, #petimony, #suit, #points, #tie

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The judge says, "Mister Dogbert, you made a good argument in your petimony suit against Dilbert . . ." The judge pounds his gavel and says, "But Dilbert had some good points, too . . . I call it a tie." The judge thinks, "Third tie this week . . . Maybe it's me . . ."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 1992's comic on:


Tags #rivers, #trees, #management, #start, #trust-building, #exercise, #minute, #decide, #eat, #donuts, #co-worker, #bear, #donut, #committee, #Wally, #alice

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An instructor says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "We'll start with a trust-building exercise." The instructor points to a person dangling by a rope over a bear and a plate of donuts. The instructor says, "You have one minute to decide to eat these donuts or to save your co-worker from the bear." Alice asks, "Okay, who wants to be on the donut option working committee?" Wally says, "Oops . . . Problem solved."