Being Lazy Comic Strips
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620 Results for Being Lazy
View 1 - 10 results for being lazy comic strips. Discover the best "Being Lazy" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday October 01,
2007
Tags #six months, #task, #simple task, #continuous cahnges, #unclear communication, #short work days, #being lazy
Transcript
The Boss: "Why did it take six months to complete this simple task?" Dilbert: "Because of your continuous changes, your unclear communication, and your short work days." The boss: "I'm looking for something more along the lines of you being lazy."
Saturday August 30,
2014
Tags #executives, #how-to, #snobbishness, #book on success, #hard work, #wise decisions, #being lucky, #lazy and dumb
Transcript
CEO: I need you to co-author a book on success with me. The goal is to make readers believe success comes from hard work and wise decisions. So instead of hating me for being lucky, they will hate themselves for being lazy and dumb. Dogbert: And for buying your book?
Wednesday May 08,
1996
Tags #career advice, #career counselor, #seek advice, #sounds lazy, #unhelpful, #work hard, #insecure people, #self relaint
Transcript
Dogbert sits on the bed watching Dilbert tie his tie. Dogbert says, "I'm going to try my paw at being a career counselor." Dogbert continues, "Insecure people will seek my advice and I'll tell them to be more self-reliant." Dilbert says, "That sounds lazy and unhelpful." Dogbert asks, "Would you want career advice from somebody who has to work hard?"
Sunday September 18,
1994
Tags #pyramid scam, #marketing breakthrough, #new recruit, #amazingly wealthy, #being your own boss, #one thousand dollars, #the world pays, #money, #scam
Transcript
"Remember, it's not a pyramid scam, it's a marketing breakthrough!" "The beauty of it is a new recruit is born every minute." "Are we guaranteed to become amazingly wealthy?" "While being our own boss?" "Yes, unless you're lazy or ethical." "Each person you recruit pays you one thousand dollars. The recruits get their own recruits and charge them TWO thousand, and so on." "Eventually, every person on Earth will be giving you money. And that adds up." "You can't argue with the math." "I feel like we're a big family." "The best part is that every person on Earth will get rich!" "Actually, the last recruit kinda gets it in the shorts."
Tuesday October 16,
2018
Everyone Else Is Lazy And Useless
Sunday April 12,
2020
Loving Yourself
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #philosophy, #self love, #evil, #ignorant, #selfish, #lazy, #love
Transcript
boss: philosophers say loving yourself is the greatest love of all. carol: do philosophers really say that? boss: all the good ones do. after years of trying, i have finally learned to love myself. carol: i'm no philosopher, but instead of learning to love yourself the way you are... wouldn't it be better if you learned how to stop being an evil, ignorant, selfish piece of garbage. boss: that sounds a lot harder. carol: in other words, you are lazy. boss: i love that about me!
Sunday January 31,
2021
Lazy People Are Efficient
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #efficient, #projects, #lazy, #assignments, #useful
Transcript
wally: they say the laziest employees are the best because they know how to be efficient. i don't think i get enough credit for all of my efficiency. boss: efficiency only matters if you are doing something useful. wally: you're the one who gives me my assignments. boss: i don't ask you to do anything useful because you are too lazy. wally: are the useful projects generally harder that the useless ones? boss: yes. wally: then i'd say the system is working.
Tuesday March 22,
2011
Tags #managers & supervisors, #secretaries (office), #work ethic, #filling in for boss, #workstation vacation, #being in charge, #pverarted, #martini glass, #drinking, #umbrella in drink, #secretary, #business
Transcript
Alice says, "I'm filling in for your boss this week, and I need twenty copies." Carol says, "That's not how it works. When he's out of the office I take a workstation vacation." Alice says, "I don't like being in charge." Carol says, "I hear it's overrated."
Tuesday May 17,
2011
Tags #test phase, #meeting, #desk, #production phase, #being smart, #good feeling, #confident, #business
Transcript
Dilbert:you scheduled the end of the test phase after the start of the production phase. we're feeling confident. Dilbert: ist too bad that being smart doesn't come with some sort of good feeling like that.
Thursday February 10,
2011
Tags #executives, #meetings, #Dogbert, #consulting, #facebook, #china, #irrelevant, #breakout groups, #fantasize, #being relevant
Transcript
Dogbert Consults Dogbert: "Where does your company fit on this comprehensive list?" Facebook, China, Irrelevant Dogbert says, "Now let's form breakout groups to fantasize about being relevant."