Below Average Comic Strips
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80 Results for Below Average
View 1 - 10 results for below average comic strips. Discover the best "Below Average" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday January 04,
1995
Tags #united charity, #below average, #pay level, #income, #local agroups, #approved list, #team player, #fund agency, #away from scoiety
Transcript
Wally stands in front of Dilbert who is seated at his desk. Wally is reading a piece of paper and says to Dilbert, "Your contributions to 'United Charity' are below average for your pay level." Dilbert says, "Actually, I donate ten percent of my income and thousands of hours to local groups not on your approved list." Wally writes on the sheet, ". . . Not a team player." Dilbert says, "I fund an agency that keeps people like you away from society."
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Tuesday July 09,
2019
Below Average
Thursday December 16,
1999
Tags #blood pressure screening, #below company average, #get away with
Transcript
FREE BLOOD PRESSURE SCREENING TODAY blod pressure screening, below average, more work, Dilbert and the boss are in line to have their blood pressure taken. The boss is holding some folders. Over the head of the woman who is taking Dilbert's blood pressure hangs a board that reads: "Free blood pressure screening today" The woman says to Dilbert: "135 over 88." The boss hands some folders to Dilbert and says: "You're bellow the company average. Here's some more work." Dilbert looks surprised. The boss is behind Dilbert, who is walking all worked up and angry. The boss says to Dilbert: "How long did you think you could get away with that?"
Monday June 17,
2019
Average Idiot
Tags #budget, #business, #office, #user interface, #idiot
Transcript
the boss: did you read my suggestions on the user interface? dilbert: yes, but we'll need a bigger budget if you want to make the user interface so easy that even you can use it. the boss: just make it so the average idiot can use it. dilbert: we did, but we didn't anticipate any below-average idiots.
Sunday September 25,
2011
Tags #competition (psychology), #goals for the year, #assignments, #average raise, #invent nuclear fusion, #lack of knowledge
Transcript
Boss: I'm getting writer's block trying to come up with your goals for the year. Dilbert: Just write anything. We both know I'll ignore the goals and work on whatever you assign to me. Boss: How will I know if you do a good job if you don't have goals? Dilbert: Same way as always. You'll compare your lack of knowledge about what I did to the goals you imagine you might have created if you could have seen the future. Then you'll give me an average raise just like everyone else who didn't invent nuclear fusion. Boss: Works for me. Dilbert: It's better to not overthink these things.
Tuesday December 28,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #conquest, #sneezed, #brain, #cells, #average, #election, #straight, #party, #ticket, #lunch, #world
Transcript
Dogbert stands over a map spread out on a table. Dilbert asks, "What's all this, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "I'm planning my world conquest." Dogbert says, "It shouldn't be too hard, given the fact I've probably sneezed more brain cells than the average human uses on election day." Dilbert says, "I usually vote a straight party ticket." Dogbert says, "I could be done before lunch."
Wednesday March 09,
1994
Tags #assurance, #value, #average employee, #less of us, #more work, #downsizing, #layoffs, #warning, #fewer employees
Transcript
The Boss: "I can assure you that the value of the average employee will continue to increase." Dilbert: "Is that because there will be less of us, doing more work?" "I'm right, aren't I?" The Boss: "Except for the 'us' part."
Saturday July 23,
1994
Tags #market research, #customers age, #proposal study, #funding, #no answers, #half above, #half below
Transcript
Dogbert: My market research indicates that 50 % of your customers are above the median age. But the shocking discovery was that 50 % were below the median age. The Boss: what percent are exactly the median age? Dogbert: Im proposing to study that impasse two.
Monday May 22,
1995
Tags #policy, #employ best, #technical professionals, #industry average, #bright, #clueless, #feel sorry
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our policy is to employ only the BEST technical professionals." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question." Dilbert asks, "Isn't it also our policy to base salaries on the 'industry AVERAGE?'" The Boss answers, "Right. We like them bright but clueless." Wally says, "I feel sorry for people like that."
Thursday October 26,
1995
Tags #same task, #other people, #clever ploy, #create healthy internal competition, #average cauliflower, #brain, #fruit kingdom
Transcript
Wally and Dilbert stand in front of the Boss's desk. Dilbert says, "Wally and I have a bet about why you assigned me to the same task as three other people." Dilbert continues, "I believe it's a clever ploy to create healthy internal competition. Wally thinks you're just dumber than the average cauliflower." The Boss says, "May I point out that cauliflower is the brain of the fruit kingdom." Wally looks at Dilbert and says, "Yes!"